• subignition@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    “All of your religions are wrong. No god is waiting to judge you after death. I have set you here to solve a puzzle: find me.”

    • Random Dent@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      You could also do something along the lines of:

      This is the supreme being. You have chosen the wrong faith but there is still time to choose the correct path. Repent now and mend your ways.

      And then just watch everyone abandon their faith and frantically switch around to what they think is the ‘right’ one.

      Bonus points if you can send a follow up message 6 months later saying it was a test and they failed lol

  • scarabic@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Sadly I know people who have heard pretty much this in their heads. A friend of mine who is otherwise normal seeming says that he’s Christian because he met Jesus on a beach once and went for a walk with him where he explained the universe to him. (before anyone asks, the ‘explanations’ are all religious tripe so no, him sharing the info doesn’t actually do much)

  • DigitalAudio@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    我们注意到您仍未提交去年的纳税报告。请联系您的雇主询问这一情况。

    Since I can only choose one language, I went for widespread appeal.

  • Bakachu@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Honestly wouldn’t matter what was said. The entire world finding out someone got into everybody’s head would be enough to start wars.

    On a personal note, I’d let my cat do a shout out to the world. No translation needed and he’d get his 10 seconds of fame that he deserves.

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You didn’t pick a religion, and if the voice were an all-powerful being it would know that, so it must be some run-of-the-mill trickster semi-powerful being (since everyone would be talking about hearing the same thing, so you’ll know it wasn’t just in your head).

  • fing3r@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    Or instant world peace, because everybody is happy and can finally relax.

    Or not.

  • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Twist: people think they are schizophrenic, finally seek mental health counseling, BOOM. You accidentally brought about world peace, motherfucker.

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The building I work in, had a lady that came in having a mental breakdown or whatever happens when you go off the antipsychotic meds. any how she was talking with the security guard, between bitching at the voices to stop interuptting her… she managed to explain that she had gone off said meds and voices inside her head were saying she needed to get someone to call for help, because she was having a panic attack.

      the guards reply (while pulling out the phone and dialing)? “Well, at least the voice give you good advice.” he got her to sit down and stay mostly calm while the EMS showed up and took care of her, sure, but damn.