As a kid, I learned to “pause” my true self. School was the pause, and my hobbies, dreams, and passions were the unpause—something I’d rush back to during lunch or after class.

Over time, the pauses got longer. Tiredness and responsibilities crept in, leaving little energy to unpause at the end of some days.

At work, sometimes the pressure and the demands were so relentless that I couldn’t unpause for weeks or months at a time.

Then came marriage, fatherhood, and the joy—and work—of raising a child.

I want my son to get to know the real me but I worry that by the time he is grown I won’t have any “self” to unpause to.

  • SupraMario@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    38 isn’t old at all. I’ve got nearly a decade on you and run a farm and have a normal 8-5 job. You sound like you just need to stop thinking you’re to old. The saying “you’re only as old as you think” is really true. I feel more fit now than when I was in my 20s.