Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
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UN: “Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts…”
All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.
Riker: 🍆 💦
Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life
Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff … I don’t look like that? … My ass isn’t that fat … Is it?
“These beings have documented a perfect understanding of warp core, matter transmission, and matter replication technologies, yet they refuse to actually use any them and are stuck on a single planet fighting wars over limited resources.”
Well, there’ll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it’s gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.
lol … aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact
Aliens first message: … I say my good man, it’s quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god’s blue sky.
… I think I’m in love with you.
Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.
Aliens: … this one has a bright red ball strapped to their mouth … I suppose it’s a requirement for all of them
Humanity is screwed.
They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.
They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.
They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?
Excellent source of creating a slave race? … to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons
Humans only want to masturbate, sleep and play board games. Sounds great
I’m in
They’re just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.
Yes. You are everywhere.
Because I’m actually an entire race of aliens desperately trying to make contact with humans.
Yeah that makes sense. Except, there are no humans here. Only nerds.
the only humans worthy of the term are nerds, bro.
At one point in my job I was effectively the translator between English speaking Indian software devs, and American project managers. If I can translate technical information into something understandable to a PM, and vague program specs into actionable technical requirements for the devs I think we’d actually be alright with the aliens.
I’m literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it’ll be a gigantic disaster.
right but they’re psychic so you can actually communicate at a real rate instead of tripping over your meat trumpet like a fucking animal all the time
Oh okay, so all they’re going to hear about humanity is all the weird math shit I’ve been watching YouTube lectures on lately 😆.
what book is it where they communicate with aliens starting with first principals of mathematics? we might be ok.
But merely being able to communicate with people has never been sufficient to make peace with them, at least from my experience. Otherwise I’d be much more popular with people, because I never had trouble reading, listening to, and writing to people, but I’m not good at talking to people. I typically need a lot more prior information (i.e. cultural norms, dictionary of body language, recent local history, a catalog of an individual’s interests and their definitions, etc.) to talk to people effectively, which I often don’t have or acquire by fucking up enough times to figure it out by hand 🙃.
I’m autistic. So they’d be very confused with most people I think
I, for one, would welcome our nuwu owoverlords.
The way the world is going … uwu makes more and more sense every day
There’s a lot of autistic people in this thread
There’s a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think
I think it’d go great.
I feel like they’d be horrified, and conquer our planet and force us all into therapy, but think they’d see us as worth helping
“Why do these aliens keep making stupid, unfunny jokes”?
“Hmm, it looks like these humans really like ‘tentacle hentai’… we could use this to our advantage”
Humanity shall receive the gift of estrogen!
Intergalactic diplomacy will play out in World of Warcraft.
humans haven’t been invited to the Galactic Federation yet due to having too low a gear score
Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope… well, I can’t say I’d blame them.
Aliens randomly picking people … nope, nope, nah, nope, nope, nuh-uh, nah, nope, nope… Wait a minute??? … they’re all mentally unwell!!!
