Sound like you are addicted to videogames

I have to have a computer science degree to install a peice of software

No you don’t, you can search on wikipedia what a computer science degree actually is.

Linux, every time, without fail, commits suicide after a few weeks

You must be doing something really wrong with it because on popular distros this is not really supposed to happen. If you encounter such issues report them to the devs. You probably want to try a more stable distro

The reason you switched back to windows is dating girls?

Not being able to play overwatch or any other blizzard/activision/vivendi/microsoft crap it’s a feature.