full of fail

ive got bad news for you if you just time travelled forward from 2006

somehow that makes it worse

oh i know how this works and its not the way you think. Its somehow better and worse at the same time

Im going to describe the process using a hypothetical situation:

You decide to try a new shampoo but you’re not sure what to buy. You ask your friend “hey what shampoo do you use” and they tell you they use Head and Shoulders.

Later that night, you google head and shoulders and read reviews

The next day, your friend gets Head and Shoulders ads on youtube and facebook and Instagram, etc

This is because google knows both of your locations and search history. It sees that you two were within a few feet of each for hours and decides to shoot ads at you both, based on what either of you have searched recently.

This is called proximity targetted advertising and i think its gross.

But this is why so many people say things like “we were talking about it and now im seeing ads they must be spying on me”

Alright fine ill switch browsers AGAIN

if only there was a simple easy solution

i break into stores after hours and steal things

A SHADY RAVEN CONCURS

my lil bros and i quote this daily, still, 15 years later

1. I am the only person in the entire country who knows and follows the rules for operating a vehicle.

This is a constant source of frustration for me. Im on the spectrum and even though my logical, intelligent side of the brain understands that rules are just words; the emotional part of my brain just screams “THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS” every time someone hits their hazard lights and just gets out of their car in the middle of a 35mph road.

2. Streaming services were better than cable for about 3 years somewhere between 2013 and 2019. Now there’s too many, they’re too expensive, and they shuffle their libraries around too much.

I wanna watch key and peele. oops its not on the comedy central app? who owns comedy central…hmmm…paramount? okay its on paramount plus…and its just a link that takes me to Amazon video? why? just play the show what is this

THATS NOT WHAT COMMUNISM IS UGHJGGFIBEKWMEK

if they start, itll be the last straw that finally gets me to just go find a local farm and buy food direct from the source

grocery stores trying to get me to sign up for their reward program or whatever

Im surprised Aldi hasnt completely taken over the entire country by now because of how they skip all the bullshit

its a grocery store. i walk in, i buy food, i leave

could not be simpler.

My local Kroger, however, has automated price cards that adjust to scalp their customers during high-traffic periods.

this is a practice that should be rewarded via targetted arson of distribution centers until our demands are met

oops autocorrect lmao

i meant this is a practice that should be outlawed via legislation that follows our due processes

oh i forgot the killing spree shoutouts

killing spree

rampage!

Unstoppable

…

G O D L I K E

HEADSHOT

HEADSHOT- DOUBLEKILL

MULTIKILL

ULTRA KILL

…MMMMMMM MONSTER KILLL LLLLLL

like jurassic park, life finds a way

Comouter scientists are now able to change gender as an evolutionary response to the lack of women in STEM fields

the socks are not mandatory, they are just given out in case anyone is chosen to be the new cutest girl in the office

i will warn you that if you ever start saying “mrrrp…nya :3” even as a joke, it WILL trigger the process to begin

…oh shit wait

BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD

I wouldnt come to America until we see how our next election goes

If the Democrats win, you might be okay in a couple years

but if not, moving to California in 2024 is gonna be like moving to Poland in 1938

We are on the precipice of launching into fully unchecked fascism, or starting twenty years of the hardest repair work conceivable in order to make this country worth living in again

I really dont want to catch any legal flak for saying this but i just think if we caught and abducted a billionaire real estate mogul qe could probably have this problem like 70% fixed in under a week

It helps to define what processed food is, specifically what constitutes “processed”

From Wikipedia:

Food processing is the transformation of agricultural products into food, or of one form of food into other forms.

Food processing takes many forms, from grinding grain into raw flour, home cooking, and complex industrial methods used in the making of convenience foods.

Tertiary food processing is the commercial production of what is commonly called processed food.[2] These are ready-to-eat or heat-and-serve foods, such as frozen meals and re-heated airline meals.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_processing

TLDR; anything you do to a food item besides picking it up and eating it raw is considered “processing” if you want to be pedantic.

Colloquially, “processed foods” as a marketting and culinary phrase typically means “Tertiary Food Processing” but thats too many words to say every time you want to discuss potato chips

such a weird thing to be mad about

“They forced 4th graders to be in a room with LIGHTBULBS… those kids arent electricians!! What are they gonna do with all those lightbulbs in the ceilings?? Disgusting!”

• Mothers Against Lightbulbs and Diversity (M.A.L.D)