You already know this, but I’ll reiterate it in case it helps you get over whatever guilt you might be feeling about it: you can’t. If you have already offered them a non-judgemental space to vent and have expressed that you’re there for them, then you have already done more than any friend should be expected to.

You say “it doesn’t rest in [your] hands alone”; it doesn’t rest in your hands at all! Your desire to save your friend is very admirable but it also sounds like it could be self-sabotaging to some extent.

“Rehab doesn’t work” is a blanket and not entirely true statement. There are a million different pathways to recovery; not every programme works for every person. Maybe try to explain this to them.

Beyond that, the best thing you can do for them right now is to disengage and remain distant. You don’t deserve to have their pains inflicted on you too.

P.S. I am speaking as a recovering addict. One of the things my recovery has taught me is how much of a burden being an addict is to other people. The thought of a relapse hurting my friends disturbs me. Your friend might resent you for turning them away, but when they do start recovery, they will not only understand why; they’ll appreciate it too.

That is really sad – the worst of both worlds. You guys deserves better.

That’s totally fair. I’ll leave my comment up just bc it’s informative

I think it’s a little more than 5, but yeah, there are only a handful, maybe 10 or so. This is otherwise 100% true.

The moment I or any FTM friend of mine mention top surgery, the discussion immediately changes into which surgeon and why.

And the gossip travels far! I haven’t had surgery yet, but I have my surgeon picked out already, and so many trans guys without any firsthand experience feel the need to tell me that he is an asshole. (I do appreciate the heads up; it’s just that I kind of don’t care bc his results are awesome.)

Eh… I know this is a meme sub, but this undermines any arguments to be made about real problems with healthcare systems by just… not being accurate.

If you need stitches in the UK, that’s an A&E (ER for my North American friends) sort of ordeal, and yeah, you won’t be seen immediately because the system is badly managed and overwhelmed. You’ll have to wait several hours (unless you’re bleeding out/at risk of death, in which case you’ll be seen quickly), not 43 months ffs.

That said, anything that’s non-urgent can take a few months. The only exceptions to this are 1) mental health, where you’re looking at several months for the waitlist almost irrespective of severity, and 2) gender-affirming care, where you won’t be seen for well in excess of 5 years, which at this rate & in this political climate (TERF island), is likely to outlast the NHS gender clinics themselves. Private is still an option for both of these branches of healthcare, but it’s expensive for sure.

Yep. Also calling it the“Israel-Hamas war” is propaganda. Makes it sound like the only people dying in Palestine are Hamas soldiers, which is obviously nowhere near the truth.

Centrists are literally just anti-opinion and spineless.

Free Palestine.

Thanks. I thought you were literally referring to ISIS as ‘woke’. Completely missed that you were talking about HTS. (Apologies; I have autism.)

What is “Woke ISIS” 😭

Not to detract from your point, but gender dysphoria is a medical condition. The brain undergoes sex differentiation in utero, and the rest of the body usually but doesn’t always match this.

It was murder, yeah. And dude deserved it :) And so do all the crooks in government he and others like him line the pockets of.

Politicians have ensured that there is no peaceful, legal pathway to reform. That’s why this happened.

Same reason why people from the United Kingdom are called ‘British’, despite Northern Ireland not being in Britain.

There just aren’t better proper adjectives for these 2 countries.

While you can say ‘North American’ to mean anyone from North America and not specifically the US, I’m not sure there’s a fitting word that refers to anyone from North or South America. Although, at that point, the group of people you are talking about is perhaps too broad to be useful in most cases.

I had dental treatment on the NHS and it was £20 or so charged as a flat fee (so irrespective of what the actual problem was/what needed doing), definitely not £70? If it’s gone up that much since then, that’s absolutely crazy.

EDIT: nvm, just looked it up, you get charged one of 3 ‘bands’ (lowest is £26.80 which is what I was charged, and the highest is £319.10). I never knew it was so pricey, as I ended up having to go private after moving anyway, since nobody was taking NHS patients…

I love the concept of a bunch of people holding game controllers and staring at the start menu.

I think that sentiments like this are really dependent on the context that the diagnosis is made within. E.g. in countries with free healthcare, gatekeeping on some level is a necessary evil, not just in trans healthcare, but in general, to allocate funding. For example, I can’t get braces for free despite my crooked teeth, because they’re not fucked up enough to warrant it, so I’d have to pay out of pocket. I don’t think it’s that crazy that someone’s HRT wouldn’t be covered by the state if they’re likely to want to change to the opposite hormone profile just 3 months later.

Or am I just completely misunderstanding what this meme is talking about? Obviously, in a private healthcare setting, the only requirement is informed consent.

My gf and I are poly. She has a gf. It doesn’t bother me at all. You should talk to your husband; his resentment isn’t necessary. It sounds like everyone (your daughter, her bf, his gf) are all aware of the situation and consenting. What’s the issue?

omg, it’s Linus and Luke from WAN show!

Sorry, but as a queer Arab I think you’re completely off the mark here. Gaza is a literal concentration camp. People are burning alive every day. What LGBT+ people in the USA could go through under Trump is very bad, but to think it comparable is delusional.

This is rude. You can say you don’t like it without calling how a lot of people look naturally disgusting.

I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I’m starting to think that we’re both narcissists haha

I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He’ll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I’ve had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I’ve got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.

With friends and family? It depends.

For friends, I care if they’re very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I’m really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.

For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues… generally no.

I was going to comment this exact thing lmao