I read everything, what’s wrong with everyone else?

I’m still rooting for COVID to take him out of commission, personally. What a redemption arc that would be.

Not even he trusts his own followers.

Hell, I’ve been waiting for 99942 Apophis to swing by us since Stargate was still on the air. Still got five years left on that one, but 2004 when that was first called out as a concern was the first time I really started contemplating the idea of the actual end of the world, in a bang not a whimper.

Sure, Y2K was supposed to cause some chaos, and 2012 was fun from a “what if magic is real” sort of angle, but everything else has been a gradual dawning realization that the world as we know it is probably going to be gone in my children’s lifetimes – not over yet, but profoundly changed, more difficult, the slow closing of the book on a golden age for humanity we didn’t fully appreciate while we were in it.

That would be pretty stupid even for him, but nothing is off the table anymore, so fingers crossed.

Satire is dead. I earnestly predict at least one more pick on this list proves actually true.

Pakled

Not even pretending to not be driven by cronyism.

I’m old school. I felt it happen with Bush v Gore.

That’s all just snoke and mirrors.

Edit: I’m leaving that typo because it’s funny, and would make for a great Star Wars character name, like Greedo.

It is fenced off on the grounds of the Royal Hospital in Chelsea, but some good aim with a small catapult could still get the job done.

I don’t think it’s so much that people expect GRRM to die soon – nevermind the fact that he’s well into his 70s and rumors about his health are irrepressible – as it is that the most recent book in the series was released thirteen years ago.

Between the first two books, there were two years, then another two years for book 3, then five years, then six. It’s simply a matter of an unfavorable mathematical progression. Even if by some miracle he drops Winds of Winter tomorrow, the planned final book would seemingly take at least as long again to finish, and given the difficulty of endings, probably much longer than that. GRRM could live to 100 and we would be lucky to see him complete this series.

“Soon” doesn’t even come into it.

I don’t understand why you don’t just put the kids in the helicopter and fly them up to Grandpa’s condo?

Universal Pictures bought the rights to make Lego movies, but that didn’t include the rights to any of the popular characters from The Lego Movie or its spin-offs. Those stayed with Warner Brothers (even though WB can no longer use Lego, so those characters are functionally dead).

Universal also didn’t get the rights to any of the franchise characters typically associated with Lego, so they can’t use Boba Fett, or Batman, or Gandalf, or Harry Potter, or even Jack Sparrow.

So they’re sitting on this huge IP and have no way to actually use it. And so Pharrell comes along and says he wants to make a documentary about himself, and they say nah that’s boring, nobody wants to see that. Then someone realizes they’re going to lose the rights to Lego if they don’t make a movie with them soon. And here we are.

Bring back the stockade for shit like this.

Now please turn to song 146 in your hymnals, The Cat Cameth Back.

Maybe it’s time to admit that you are bad at this and you should do something else besides trying to run a business. It’s clearly not your forte.

This is pretty good satire, and I gotta give you props for sticking to the bit, LunchMoneyThief.

Happy workers stay longer and don’t leave rotting fish in the vents right before quitting out of frustration.

Only a person who thinks on a single axis could possibly believe the two parties are the same in any meaningful way. Reality is more complex than that.