Everyday I wake up to a new atrocity I have to verify.

No one on there deathbed will say they wish they worked harder. They will regret all the other moments they missed because they were working too much.

Time is more than just money, it’s your life.

The biggest reason to knock off working on vacation or after hours is that it creates a false expectation on the the workload. If you can’t get it done during regular office hours, than that means your company needs more people or a process improvement.

If you are working these extra untracked hours, you are the problem. If you get rewarded for doing so, your company is toxic and will only expect more as you move up the ladder.

It’s 1999, outside a theater there is a hairy middle-aged blob of flesh screaming at the sky.

This meme is so old now it’s starting to get sun fading and the ink is wearing off.

As we round the decade and head straight into the world of Tank Girl.

Are you offering to help? I suppose he could use an extra hand.

Absurd, I am a regular human with regular human appetites.

Just curious do other humans like me eat more than 1 grain? Just seems greedy to not share with your queen.

Usually 1 grain of rice is filling enough.

Means it has pubes on it.

Her’s was a plastic blue bowl with a handle. I was informed of it’s unsavory past after it was given to her from her mom when we moved in together. As she was eating popcorn out of it.

I didn’t come from no fancy two large plastic bowl house either. But a small trashcan with about 3 layers of grocery bags was our go to. Never would I look at something I yaked in and consider it to hold food again even if it had bags lining it.

So it begins…

Fucking get out of here with that “puke bowl” nonsense. You are going to make me lose an argument with my wife!

I never heard of them until her and like poop knives I refuse to believe in families have a thing as a “puke bowl”. Now I have to do research and reconsider my stance.

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off (the) shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

That’s kind of brutal, did her little brother eat the last jelly filled doughnut?

Except from the book: If you find a snake in your toilet it means you need to BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!

Need to pee in the soil

Step by step on how a minotaur is made.

Tucker made the mistake of dressing up as a couch for Halloween.

Yeah I tripped, knocked a stage light over, and burned everything to the ground. I was the only survivor.

Was called the “Tragic Cinderella Sizzler” by local newspapers.