I had a very sturdy, energetic dog who loved chasing a thrown ball. He was tied to a long rope (about 100 feet). I did not pay attention to where the rope was and threw the ball and he exploded from my side and flew like a rocket after the ball. The rope, unfortunately, was tied to a tree in the direction I was throwing but was curled behind me. I was wearing shorts and as the rope started to be pulled away, it pulled up against both of my calves and abraded all of the skin from the backs of my legs away in a moment, and then the rope was pulled taught, deftly swiping both of my legs out from underneath me, dropping me backwards onto my head on a stone patio, splitting my scalp and spraying blood all over my white canvas outdoor furniture. The dog looked very proud for catching the ball when he loped up to me afterwards.

Pee in snow

When I was 8 my mother brought me and my siblings to her boyfriend’s on Christmas Eve and they went out for drinks and left us with a 13 year old baby sitter. They dropped us in the driveway without bothering to let us in and his house was locked. It was snowing and we were scared. They didn’t come back until after midnight. She was drunk and blamed him and piled us into the car and took off and crashed into a snowbank. I had to go up to a stranger’s house early on Christmas morning and wake them up for help, which is probably why I am so awkward in social situations now.

Trump doesn’t pay his vendor invoices.

Correct. The will to be racist or bully trans people. It cannot be clearer that this is what the bottom 52% of thinkers in this country wants.

The only way to win today is to appeal to the bigots and morons.

Women always will be habitually underestimated.

The person for whom the word prugly was created.

Technically made with high fructose corn syrup. I’ll allow it.

It’s almost like you shouldn’t trust the judgement of people who believe inter-dimensional space wizards are real

There’s a fuel distributor near me named “Just Oil (and more!)”

Seriously though. If they aren’t just selling the hotdogs, what ELSE are they doing with the hotdogs. Seems like it could be inappropriate.

Just a little bit maybe go fuck yourself :)

Sounds like something someone being paid by Trump backers would say. No rational person believes Trump is going to advocate for balance with Palestine more than Harris would.

Do you want to go up sthairs?

If you have balanitis: wash your penis every day using just water or an emollient (moisturising treatment) gently pull back your foreskin and wash the area with warm water. dry gently after washing. if you use condoms, choose condoms for sensitive skin. wash your hands before peeing or touching your penis

Joe it isn’t.

Their heads are as soft as their little impotent penises.

This will be the ski capital of the world once the Gulf stream finishes dying out.

Eye see what you did there.

If Democrats weren’t cowards that would have the Senate fire up a RICO investigation regarding the conspiracy to show revenge porn on the house floor and indict all of the sitting Republican house members.