Zuck, I want you to explain to this irrationally angry woman that this coupon from four years ago has expired.

Crest beef jerky! Experience the minty flavors of the…fuckin Southwest. Yeehaw!

Whatcha doin with that landmine?
“Uhhhh…cartoon mischief?”
Well okay then. Welcome to Disneyland.

Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

Yup! You can make custom camos, custom decals, place crew members (in beta version), and fight in custom battles or missions. Some communities even have fun competitions.

“It exploded. The hot pocket exploded.”

He’s delusional. Hot pockets don’t explode.

Awww look, he wants to launch the missile!

Hey man. I could totally use that for…some lemonade I could maybe make maybe.

I shall introduce a law allowing gruel in the workhouse to be replaced with watered down sawdust.

Weekend at Chase Manhattan.

Oh hell yeah. (T-Rex sounds)

Derek needs to be on the sandwich offender list.

Dear IRS,

How are you? I am well. I paid my tax already when I bought gum at the Gas N Go, and it was 78 cents.

Your pal,
saltnotsugar

This is new console…Fun Barrel. For 20 liters of kerosene, you can play all night if the coolant doesn’t ignight.

Havin BBQ in the backyard,
Bombin Iraq in my heart,
Ate too many beans,
Now it’s time to fart.

Bless the great smoking trout. Bless the smoke rings from his great maw. Soon we shall join him at the Gas N’ Go in the sky, and take our own ciggies for glory.

This information is most welcome.

…say sike right now.

And the people came out of the city of Jerusalem, and beheld a bunny laying eggs of many colors. Many were confused, for the eggs were then hidden, within them, candies from leading brands. Hippitus Hoppitus.

I bet woodpeckers have cool internal DOOM music playing when they go nuts on a tree.