Hey look, Mormon Jesus really did appear to Joseph Smith and told him to start a church and sell spots in heaven for any family that wed their daughter to him.

[My father] asked me if I would be sealed to Joseph … [Smith] said to me, ‘If you will take this step, it will ensure your eternal salvation & exaltation and that of your father’s household & all of your kindred.[’] This promise was so great that I willingly gave myself to purchase so glorious a reward.

• Helen mar Kimball, who was 14 at the time they married.

Sounds all very legit, daughter for heaven. Mormon Jesus is just cool like that.