I was once explaining to someone how a group of my family is part of a “religion” which is really a cult. I was saying how females (being inclusive of the adult women and young girls) in this cult have no body autonomy and how fucked up it is. I was interrupted to be informed that the term female should not be used. They interrupted my explanation of how my fucking family member is being forced to get pregnant over and over, how the girls are being treated like property or pets, because correcting my use of the word female was more important. I will never forget or forgive this moment. I hope this anecdote highlights priorities for everyone that has such a strong opinion about this. Also, I imagine if I wasn’t male, this would have been a nonissue. I don’t know about anyone else, but I actually do want equality. Double standards are outdated.
Context is important. In your case, you’re using female to designate a biological characteristic - aka, a reproductive ability that the cult is specifically exploiting. Some men, especially online, use “female” in a way where normally someone would use the term “woman”, in an attempt to dehumanize women. It’s unfortunate that the person you were talking to couldn’t tell the difference, but as for never forgiving them, maybe a gentle correction could be more warranted?
(emphasis mine) Moments where someone’s heart was in the right place are the most forgivable for me
If I could choose my reaction it mighttttttt be akin to….
“LOL did you just knee jerk reaction b/c ‘female’ is word of the week on fascist social media? Well thanks for caring but this will derail us for a thirty-second language & comprehension lesson…”
“Hey, bigots say this and it makes people sound like bigots when they say it”
“I used that word correctly and was told that it made me sound like a bigot. Maybe think about that?”
Cool, maybe get mad at the bigots who ruined the word for people rather than the people saying the word was ruined by bigots.
It’s like when people get mad at the r-slur being a slur now. Like, no, it was always intended as an insult based on medical language. It was always going to become a slur.
Now people are using the word female to both alienate and other women in their language and to “sound smarter” when showing bigotry. Also, you were probably told to not say it because they knew you were better than the assholes who say it in a demeaning way. Maybe… think about that?
How about we just stop letting bigots have every fucking word and don’t assume negative qualities about people from an insignificant distinction, cultures are different and just assuming someone is a bigot because they used the word female in a proper context is absolutely idiotic and counter productive to actually fighting real bigotry
Never assumed this person was a bigot. The point being made is that “female” is now a dog whistle word for the alt-right. Dog whistles by themselves aren’t proof that someone is a bigot, but they are still words associated with bigotry.
You can’t control what words become dog-whistles (Jean-Paul Sartre quote “But they(anti-semites) are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words”) but you can acknowledge that they ARE dog whistles without it being some moral failing to point it out.
I am talking more generally, not just you in this instance.
We shouldn’t keep seeding ground to fascists over which words are “theirs” a simple and inconsequential example is Pepe the frog, there is nothing inherently racist about it and there are hordes of wholesome pepe memes, but someone decided that because it also gets coopted by fascists and racists that now pepe is actually a symbol for racism.
This is idiotic that we are HANDING bad actors the right to own words and ideas by self policing.
I don’t disagree, but I don’t see how you can do that. Well, I kind of do, that’s by “taking the word back”, poisoning the meaning of the word or its association so that hateful people won’t want to be associated with it. I know it’s definitely not shaming people for calling out that it’s a dog whistle. Because, again, that puts the moral failing on the person calling it out rather than the people who gave it the negative association to begin with.
That quickly becomes “ugh, these fucking SJWs policing everyone’s speech” instead of “ugh, these fucking losers ruining perfectly good words with their hatred”, which it should be.
I agree there isn’t an easy answer, I just don’t think giving them power over the words is actually helping anyone, because it does turn into the SJW situation like you pointed out.
Humungus Wut intensifies
It devolved into people MAKING problems were there wasn’t actually one by assuming negative intent.
Cool, maybe get mad at the bigots who ruined the word for people rather than the people saying the word was ruined by bigots.
A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: “I am sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s my character.”
Who said anything about getting them to change? Getting mad at people because the word changed instead of getting mad at the people who changed the word is my point. There’s a reason why that word was targeted as a dog whistle, but it is still a dog whistle now and acknowledging that it is isn’t some moral wrong.
I was once explaining to someone how a group of my family is part of a “religion” which is really a cult. I was saying how females (being inclusive of the adult women and young girls) in this cult have no body autonomy and how fucked up it is. I was interrupted to be informed that the term female should not be used. They interrupted my explanation of how my fucking family member is being forced to get pregnant over and over, how the girls are being treated like property or pets, because correcting my use of the word female was more important. I will never forget or forgive this moment. I hope this anecdote highlights priorities for everyone that has such a strong opinion about this. Also, I imagine if I wasn’t male, this would have been a nonissue. I don’t know about anyone else, but I actually do want equality. Double standards are outdated.
Context is important. In your case, you’re using female to designate a biological characteristic - aka, a reproductive ability that the cult is specifically exploiting. Some men, especially online, use “female” in a way where normally someone would use the term “woman”, in an attempt to dehumanize women. It’s unfortunate that the person you were talking to couldn’t tell the difference, but as for never forgiving them, maybe a gentle correction could be more warranted?
(emphasis mine) Moments where someone’s heart was in the right place are the most forgivable for me
If I could choose my reaction it mighttttttt be akin to….
“LOL did you just knee jerk reaction b/c ‘female’ is word of the week on fascist social media? Well thanks for caring but this will derail us for a thirty-second language & comprehension lesson…”
“Hey, bigots say this and it makes people sound like bigots when they say it”
“I used that word correctly and was told that it made me sound like a bigot. Maybe think about that?”
Cool, maybe get mad at the bigots who ruined the word for people rather than the people saying the word was ruined by bigots.
It’s like when people get mad at the r-slur being a slur now. Like, no, it was always intended as an insult based on medical language. It was always going to become a slur.
Now people are using the word female to both alienate and other women in their language and to “sound smarter” when showing bigotry. Also, you were probably told to not say it because they knew you were better than the assholes who say it in a demeaning way. Maybe… think about that?
How about we just stop letting bigots have every fucking word and don’t assume negative qualities about people from an insignificant distinction, cultures are different and just assuming someone is a bigot because they used the word female in a proper context is absolutely idiotic and counter productive to actually fighting real bigotry
Never assumed this person was a bigot. The point being made is that “female” is now a dog whistle word for the alt-right. Dog whistles by themselves aren’t proof that someone is a bigot, but they are still words associated with bigotry.
You can’t control what words become dog-whistles (Jean-Paul Sartre quote “But they(anti-semites) are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words”) but you can acknowledge that they ARE dog whistles without it being some moral failing to point it out.
I am talking more generally, not just you in this instance.
We shouldn’t keep seeding ground to fascists over which words are “theirs” a simple and inconsequential example is Pepe the frog, there is nothing inherently racist about it and there are hordes of wholesome pepe memes, but someone decided that because it also gets coopted by fascists and racists that now pepe is actually a symbol for racism.
This is idiotic that we are HANDING bad actors the right to own words and ideas by self policing.
I don’t disagree, but I don’t see how you can do that. Well, I kind of do, that’s by “taking the word back”, poisoning the meaning of the word or its association so that hateful people won’t want to be associated with it. I know it’s definitely not shaming people for calling out that it’s a dog whistle. Because, again, that puts the moral failing on the person calling it out rather than the people who gave it the negative association to begin with.
That quickly becomes “ugh, these fucking SJWs policing everyone’s speech” instead of “ugh, these fucking losers ruining perfectly good words with their hatred”, which it should be.
I agree there isn’t an easy answer, I just don’t think giving them power over the words is actually helping anyone, because it does turn into the SJW situation like you pointed out.
Humungus Wut intensifies
It devolved into people MAKING problems were there wasn’t actually one by assuming negative intent.
A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it would drown if it killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: “I am sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s my character.”
good luck getting the bigots to change.
Who said anything about getting them to change? Getting mad at people because the word changed instead of getting mad at the people who changed the word is my point. There’s a reason why that word was targeted as a dog whistle, but it is still a dog whistle now and acknowledging that it is isn’t some moral wrong.