Can someone explain to me why this is ADHD and not depression? I see this as depression and general life struggles.
I’m coming from /all btw so just curious.
Edit: good explanations. Makes sense now. Pretty sure I don’t have ADHD but I do get depressed so comparing the two puts the other into perspective.
If you have ADHD you will often have depression stemming from the experience of your life under ADHD, in the manner described in the post.
If you have depression as your primary issue, the problem of not getting things done is not usually due to distraction or executive dysfunction in the way that it is for ADHD. It’s more likely due to mental and emotional fatigue and feelings of uselessness/hopelessness, which then manifest as executive dysfunction.
The two problems are often co-morbid - appearing together. What makes the distinction is which of the two issues is primary. Are you depressed because of your executive dysfunction, or are you exhibiting characteristics of executive dysfunction because you’re depressed?
There is a lot of overlap in symptoms and in my experience a lot of ADHD adults (maybe especially women) are (mis)diagnosed as depressed before getting ADHD diagnoses and on medications. There can be some differences, like symptoms being continuous throughout your life despite not feeling depressed, having periods of hyper focus, or areas that you excel in.
Plus ADHD and depression are comorbid, so a lot of what we think of as “ADHD symptoms” might be depression symptoms? Idk just a thought 😃
They both worsen eachother. Depression makes you less motivated and worsens focus, ADHD does the same and you can get depressed because of it, it’s a cycle.
Comorbidity is a bitch like that. Now what is this a symptom of?
I usually hate doing the “please read this article,” but I think this piece describes really well the challenges faced by people with ADHD because if their lack of executive function. Important quote:
Tasks in the neurotypical world have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Individuals with ADHD don’t know where and how to start, since they can’t find the beginning. They jump into the middle of a task and work in all directions at once.
And I would add to that - if they jump in at all. A person with depression may not be folding their laundry because they cannot get out of bed. A person with ADHD may be up and around and doing a bunch of things but not the things they need to be doing, like folding laundry, because they don’t know where to start, and it’s way too overwhelming.
Then, it’s also possible to have depression and ADHD, especially since being neurodivergent can be fucking depressing. Then it’s a double whammy.
I hope this helps explain it.
But when our “middle > out” process actually works? That shit is one of the best feelings ever.
holy fuck man, hyperfocus
there isn’t a drug available that does the same shit hyperfocus does to me
There is some overlap, but it’s different in how they play out internally. With depression it’s usually a pack of energy or motivation to do it, whereas with ADHD there may be plenty of energy (and even motivation) but there’s an inability to stop and change gears. There’s usually an internal struggle of “I really need to do that” but being incapable of actually making the decision to do so.
I remember things when I can’t do anything about it. Stepping over the laundry I forgot to start, but now I am in a hurry to go somewhere and don’t have time. I remember that I forgot to start the dishes after getting to work.
That is how I read it and related.
Add some anxiety in. They can also be interrelated to a high degree. I’m diagnosed with adhd and anxiety and on pills to keep the depression from killing me. Therapist wanted to focus on the anxiety because it may be at the core of all of it.
It’s constant and relentless. I am what some people call “gifted” but it never really feels that way. I have a good job that bores me to death and a battle so hard all day to make it work. I’m good at lots of different things, from programming, to music production, to writing, to building things, but I can’t devote any meaningful amount of time to any of them, and I neglect all the important aspects of my life. My physical and mental health are fucked, I’m in debt for no good reason, and at this point I think my adhd meds make it worse, but if I don’t take them I’m basically in a comatose state. It’s honestly no wonder that we’re statistically likely to die 10 years earlier than average.
I think work is the reason that you are unable to devote a meaningful amount of time to things that energize you.
If society was structured so that we didn’t need to work/grow constantly, we would have so much more time to tap into the vibrations of the universe and create art/music.
Me? Me is that you?
Today it was supposed that I should be studying during the afternoon/evening. Instead, I’m doing nothing but thinking about me studying, incapable of performing that action.
That’s so relatable!
I’m supposed to read these 3 in-depth research articles before a 2-day training that starts tomorrow, and I haven’t even begun looking at them. The inner panic is real. Yet here I am on lemmy…
All I know is if we shame ourselves, it will get worse and we will be more paralyzed into inaction. My rule is, if I can’t get to positive self-talk, I aim for neutral. So, instead of “omg, you’re such a piece of shit, why can’t you just do this like a normal fucking person” I might say to myself “OK, you are struggling to do what you need to do. It’s not ideal and it’s also explained by your neurodivergent brain. You’re not lazy, but you also can’t sit there completely frozen. What’s one tiny step you can take towards your goal?”
I’m not saying it works 100% of the time, but it’s certainly better than sitting in shame and putting yourself on blast.
I love this and will bookmark this and proceed to forget about it until I randomly find it while looking for another bookmark.
Actually, I am very lazy, thank you.
Then you’re doing your best at being lazy. I’m proud of you either way.
Lol, thanks for the reminder to pay the bill I already forgot I was reminded about today. xD
I have till the 12th for mine so there’s still time to procrastinate.
Thanks for sharing this. It’s something I need to remind myself more often.
The older I get and the more responsibilities I acquire, the harder I get on myself about the daily struggles to remember or have the motivation to do the things I need to do.
ADHD is tough, and life does not slow down or wait for us. I hear you on acquiring more responsibilities with age and not being able to “adult” well. That’s why self-kindness is so important. I don’t know you, but I bet you are doing your best.
Struggling a huge amount at the moment, no idea what to do about it. Verging on suicidal ideation really, but I’m fairly used to that.
Rethink the basics. Put it all on paper. You can certainly do it. I believe in you.
I just need to tidy, but have lost the ability to do basic household tasks. I’m never going to have any money, and I really do mean any money. I don’t need to be rich but I’m not enjoying life in the slightest.
But never mind, at least I can rely on people online to call me privileged because of my genitals and skin colour.
But never mind, at least I can rely on people online to call me privileged because of my genitals and skin colour.
Woah there. No one said your life was going to be fantastic because you’re a white male. But you most likely DO deal with less systemic injustices than women or people of color who are in the same situation as you. I recommend reading books or having conversions with real life people to gain perspective.
It’s amazing how you turned frustration over your own life onto other people.
We’re allowed to be depressed and frustrated. The fact that we can realise our privilege doesn’t mean we lack perspective- it means we’re tired of life’s bullshit. Have some empathy.
I DO have empathy. You ARE allowed to feel depressed and frustrated. Your comment at the end came out of nowhere. You went from talking about being miserable and how awful everything is, and I was nodding along as another depressed frustrated person, and then blame people calling out white privilege.
Most people who do that deny that it exists. If you’re not one of those people, then I’m sorry I misunderstood what you were saying and will take it as a general nonsequitur.
Yes, I’m the original poster; you were responding to somebody else before.
To clarify, I’m not blaming people pointing out systemic privilege, I’m just getting a bit fed up of having it leveled at me, an extremely poor person who was disowned by his family, hospitalised and made homeless on two occasions. Both parents had mental health issues of their own, which had an impact on my upbringing.
In general the people who attack me for my race and gender tend to be relatively wealthy white women, or (less frequently) wealthy mixed-race women with one white parent. I wonder if it’s a cognitive dissonance thing, as a response to their own wealth privilege.
I use the term wealth privilege because globally that’s really what the issue is. I don’t want to fall into the trap of generalising based on my immediate surroundings. Certainly the wealth skews male and white where I live, although the richest family in the UK is actually Indian.
I benefit materially from being male because I don’t have to worry about pregnancy. That’s the most fundamental systemic inequality I can think of, and it’s in our genes. I absolutely understand that, and am vocally supportive of legal protections for women.
Looking at the USA I can see the alarming difference in inherited wealth between “races” and it’s astonishing, and the sheer extent of the racism I hear about from certain areas is disturbing.
I do not live in an ethnically homogenous area and have always had friends from various backgrounds. Anecdotally, the material deprivation in a subset of white working-class households is more severe, which is likely a geographical thing. The majority of minority households skew towards middle-class here (suburban to rural), as wealthier first- and second-generation immigrant families moved away from population hubs.
The person saying “have some empathy” and the person complaining about being called privileged are two different accounts, fyi.
Oh. I should’ve checked. Thank you!!!
Yeah I feel that. ‘Privileged’ but utterly lost in life. Can’t stop drinking, so I’m perpetually broke and tired.
But hey! I’m living in a first world country so at least I’m ✨lucky✨
at least I can rely on people online to call me privileged because of my genitals and skin colour
Dude. Life is too short. Spoons are too hard to come by. Whoever is saying that to you, block them. Block them right now. For good measure, block one or two people for the mere crime of showing clips containing this bullshit rhetoric.
Not people complaining while offering wholesome alternatives, mind you, like Jordan_the_Stallion8 or Speech Prof or Joey Swoll (YOU MUST NEVER BLOCK JOEY SWOLL!)
But if you’re following some internet personality, and they show these weird extremists to you, and all you feel is anger afterwards… get rid of the people showing you the crazy man-haters. You do not need that in your life.
There will always be some portion of the population that seeks to invalidate every form of pain. Every, single form of pain!
- saying rape victims are “asking for it”
- saying poor people just need to work harder
- saying ADHD folks like you and I are only held back by our laziness
- saying black people who get the shit kicked out of them by a police officer “should have tried to deescalate”
- saying white men live easy lives
Often these people are narcissists, and are fed by the outrage they generate. Sometimes they are just set in their ways, and don’t realize that science and society have moved past their obsolete worldview.
But in all cases, these people aren’t worth your limited energy.
Block them and subscribe to ADHD groups on all of your apps.
Thanks.
I don’t deliberately follow that sort of stuff, that would not be good for my mental health. I certainly don’t seek out that sort of rhetoric; I know some people do. Cynically, I would say those people must enjoy it.
Did you just assume my energy level?
Joking aside, this needs to be said more.
Word
