• 0 Posts
  • 18 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: October 7th, 2023

help-circle

  • Keeping in touch with people. I have no idea what causes it but people just stop talking to me. I’ve lost touch with so many friends and family members over the years that in a lot of ways its just not worth the effort to make new ones. Which gets pretty lonely but I don’t see an alternative.

    I realize that part of it is my fault as I’m not the best at keeping up with people either, but I at least make the effort with the few friends and family I’m trying to keep so I don’t lose absolutely everyone. The only exception is work colleagues and my mother who I have a strained relationship with.

    I’m sure the work colleagues will fade if I ever leave the company, as has happened every single time before. I’m sure you can guess why my relationship with my mother isn’t something I necessarily want to improve.

    I’ve received multiple reasons that people never message, usually some variant of forgetting to respond due to being too busy. But what’s especially frustrating are the people that say, I think of you often and things of that nature, but that never seems to translate into, “let’s see how they’re doing by reaching out”. Adding to this is how I’ve never had much luck making friends so it’s not like I’ve ever had a large pool to draw from.















  • A calvacade of concerns:

    1. Black Sheep - I’m the black sheep of the family for various reasons too numerous to get I into here. But suffice to say I have effectively zero contact with most of my immediate family except for my parents. My parents keep trying to force me into fitting into their own view of things, whether it be religion, antivax, etc which has put strain on the relationship when I refuse to fit their mold for me.

    2. Forgotten - I’m forgotten by any friends/family that I do still have contact with. They rarely, if ever, reach out on their own initiative. I rarely reach out partly because I’m busy with my own stuff and simply don’t remember to do so, partly because I’m tired of always initiating, and partly because I don’t see the point, as I’ve been burned too many times before and it likely won’t last anyway.

    3. Money - I have significant debt that I’m years away from paying off with my current budget, both due to necessary expenditures and not so necessary ones. I’m also significantly behind on my retirement savings, especially if I want to have anywhere near my current income when I retire, if I can ever afford to. Add day to day expenses and couple that with both a desire to still occasionally frivolously spend money and a strong loathing of being in debt and you have a recipe for significant stress all on its own.

    4. Covid - I’m one of those people who has enough health concerns that I want to play it extremely safe when it comes to potentially contracting the virus. This has put a serious damper on trying to go out and meet new people.

    Frankly I think its a minor miracle that I’ve managed to hold it together as well as I have.


  • And even if you beat all of that. You can still be crucified in the court of public opinion. As much as it may be cathartic to see x person being sent to prison for whatever reason there are significant issues with “naming and shaming” someone simply accused of a crime, of which there is a non zero chance that they are innocent. Sure name and shame them after they’re convicted if you must, to show everyone the system still works or whatever. But not before then because that stuff can seriously derail your life.