A full plate of pork ribs (almost) I was out to dinner with my gf and her parents (first time I had meet them) at a fancy restaurant, and her Dad was paying, big guy, didnt say much, picture Ron Swanson but bigger and bald. Anyways I love pork ribs and as soon as i saw the menu i had to have em, altho as soon as i ordered them i realized they were a full serving (not a half, so one whole side of pig!) And that it was the most expensive item on the menu, it was at this point i knew i had f’ed up. I tried my best but could not finish this behemoth plate of beautifully cooked pork rib cage while under the scrutinizing eye of one red faced, barrel chested, potential farther in law. I sent a half eaten plate back to the kitchen only to turn round and see the look in his eye that said i was nothing but a waste of money to him and that i deserve nothing less than the colossal meat shits that was coming for me. We then went home and i couldn’t even hug my gf in bed as my guts set about the task of converting 3 pounds of pig flesh into a glorious song of digestion featuring frequent trumpet solos for my gf to enjoy into the night…we lasted a month

Legend has it if you push the buttons on his suit it drops sand into his shoes