Hey, I am so sorry for what you’re going through, I lost my dad almost 6 years ago, I still miss him dearly. I think that diagram is right, in that life grows around you, you can ignore that, but if you participate in it, you’ll see that there will be new people around, loving people.

They’ll never fill the hole your lost one left and they’re not supposed to, but they’ll fill your life with new things and looking back, it’ll never feel empty.

For me it was my mom’s new husband, my parents were divorced almost 10 years before my dad passed. My stepdad was the best thing that could have happened to my family, he never could replace our dad, in that they’re very different people, and he never would want to, but what he has done for my mom, my sisters, my grandma and me made him as irreplaceable as my dad was.

The day my dad died, I was sitting in the train home to take care of things, I stumbled about this reddit comment by u/gsnow and it helped me process what was happening to me and my family. I couldn’t thank that Internet stranger enough for his kind words.

Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gorged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

I hope that helps a little, look around and see, you’re not alone.

Stay afloat stranger <3

Fair

Meanwhile, zero actual evidence for DPRK attacking Ukraine, but I guess that’s not going to stop western smoothbrains from talking about it.

I forgot we live in “what I don’t like is obviously not true” land here, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, for example actual footage of North Korean soldiers arriving in Russian training camps, Putin himself doesn’t even denies it, but anything to lick some boot I guess.

You’re not arguing in good faith, as exemplified by your double standards regarding foreign involvement, so I know that you’re gonna write something about “manipulated footage”, ask for sources you could easily Google yourself and overall try to move the overall framing of the conversation to something else because the exchange of information is not the point for you.

I have neither the strength nor the patience to argue with utterly deranged idiots whose worldview would make Marx roll over in his grave.

From:

Last I checked it was NATO that started launching missiles into Russia escalating the conflict, but do go on champ.

To:

One problem being that Ukraine isn’t a member state. 🤡

So which one is it?

Would you also say that North Korea is attacking Ukraine since it’s North Korean artillery shells being lobbed into Ukraine?

A court hearing is typically held after a bankruptcy auction to finalize the winning bids and sales, and to hear any objections, so the process in Jones’ case hasn’t strayed far from the usual — yet.

We’ll see about that pretty soon.

Proposal: the onion employs Dan and Jordan on their new network and let them continue knowledge fight on Infowars.

I will die of laughter if Dan really gets Alex’s desk.

Omfg I didn’t even think about that possibility, that would be perfect, if Dan really gets Alex’s desk I am gonna explode with laughter.

Best news in days, good job onion, I can’t wait to hear Jones’s spin on this.

'll just go find the next gas station crackhead, do some meth with them and ask them about their worldview, that honestly seems like more fun.

As others mentioned, most apps offer word filters, just got to hit enough key words. I blocked the word “Tr*mp” and it cleared my main feed up real good already, with some fine tuning I guess I can get rid of the rest too.

The quote clearly states ‘joined the party’, those are NOT collaborateurs, those are members of the Nazi party, or as explained - Nazis.

Nobody was threatened to join the party, historians agree on that, people who joined were either true believers or did so to gain some sort of advantage.

The NSDAP, at their peak had 8.5 million members (1945), so around 20-25% of the German population at the time. We can argue about the other 80%, there is some nuance to be found there, of course. But those 20% Nazi Party members were Nazis, no nuance needed.

Nah man, that title still goes to Joe Rogan every damn year.

a pacifist as the paradox of tolerance is a difficult thing to have to come to terms with and I’m fundamentally a flawed human being

Don’t think of it as a paradox - tolerance is a social contract, once you break the terms you’re no longer protected by that contract because accepting that would nullify the contract for all of us.

Boost for lemmy doesn’t show profile pics and usernames all look the same so I might have overlooked where you said that. Also your comment I replied to reads like that wasn’t the case. I apologize for the mix up, but still feel your hostility is unwarranted and will now disengage.

So, what’s your plan for the election? Not voting, sitting in a corner yelling “it’s unacceptable!!!”?

Or voting the lesser of two evils and working to better the system?

The democratic parties of 1920s Germany also were full of racists, antisemites and union busters, but not voting or worse voting for the NSDAP only achieved one thing - the Nazis power grab.

So what’s your plan?

I mean…at least they were dead? That’s a courtesy some of Weinstein’s and Epstein’s victims had to take in their own hands.

Covfefe? I think so.

Yeah and sometimes it just rubs off on each other, like I was never the gardening guy but her enthusiasm about it was infectious and now I find myself getting excited about how many tomatoes a single plant can grow or what beautiful colors the tiny corn poppies can produce.

And the other way around - a friend gave me a ‘Quark’ shirt for my birthday and my girlfriend said ‘ugh ferengies are so ugly, couldn’t he have given you a Spock shirt, I like him more’ and I was soooo proud of her.

You just learn to enjoy their excitement about their boring shit until you start to share the excitement and you start to enjoy the thing too.

That movie was INSANE.

Still no relevant response to what I pointed out, buddy,.