Make it so.

If you measure your life only in dollars, maybe. Maybe.

My mom came from a small town and said she’d never raise a kid in a small town - her cousins, all save one, were in jail or pregnant before they graduated high school. Because there was literally nothing to do.

I like having restaurants, a good library system, concerts, bars, not needing to drive to get anything. I like living in a mid-sized city, but if I couldn’t, would go bigger not smaller.

Tampa International Airport

I give thanks every time we land at home. Our airport is really awesome. Good layout, beautiful, long security line usually but otherwise so good.

https://news.tampaairport.com/

I didn’t enjoy being a kid at all, but being an adult I do like, don’t mind working because they pay me.

“Everyone else got it” is a stretch.

It does sound like you are carrying a lot of trauma, I don’t want to minimize that, but if you are able bodied, can see and hear and move and think, you are ahead of a lot of people. If you live in a developed nation, you are ahead of a lot of people. I don’t think even a majority of kids get the idealized childhood you think they do.

If you have no kids or obligations - what I did was get a lot of roommates to get living cost low and yeah, did just work a minimal job and hang out for a few years before sort of getting more serious about work. Never did the career ladder thing but did get a good job and I can say with absolute honesty - it got better.

Well, my mind is in the gutter I guess. Yards, I like a balance. Wild in defined spaces; food garden without weeds; open yard is literally mowed weeds, not too short. Flower garden has some weeds. We get lots of bees and butterflies with this scheme.

(On the question I thought you were asking, slight preference for uncut)

1. Never owned a whole encyclopedia.

But probably -1 for not only rotary phone but “party line”; sometimes you couldn’t use the phone because someone else, in another house, was using that line.

I like cooking, and don’t use recipes. Drinks, too. I like creating foods and drinks that people love because it’s like a gift but they don’t have to keep it. I guess it’s a traditional art in a way but not always expressed artistically.

I can’t speak for all women, but looks for me are a yes/no binary, but a primary filter. So if a guy looks good enough, attractive to me, then I can be attracted to him if he’s attractive in other ways. But there’s no bonus for better than good enough, better looking doesn’t matter at all. It is quite important - nobody has ever moved out of the appearance “no” bucket into the “yes”. But there is no 1-10 scaling, no consideration beyond the yes/no, I’m never going to be more attracted to a man just because he’s gorgeous.

Jason Isbell 24 Frames.

You thought God was an architect, now you know. He’s something like a pipe bomb ready to blow. And everything you built goes up in flames in 24 frames.

I am certainly not in your target demographic, and personally yeah it would be a turnoff but it would be really stupid for you to try to change and be unhappy - you don’t need everyone to appreciate you in a romantic way, you only need a few admirers, right?

Looking at the people my kids date (more likely your age) they don’t seem to have the preference for “manly men”, none of them. They like guys who are not afraid to be soft, not afraid to wear nail polish or look ‘girly’ or whatever, they seem to find guys who do the Masculine thing actively off-putting. So you are in a good cultural moment I’d say. I think you will do fine being yourself, also never think it’s a weakness to be gentle and caring. Most people want to be taken care of to some extent, just make sure this isn’t a one-way thing, you take care of them too.

I don’t mean letting them keep harming you - I mean when do you think it’s worth keeping the hate inside you, the unforgiveness. It doesn’t do anything to harm the offender, it’s only harmful to the victim.

So when is it worth holding on to that at your own expense? It’s a good question.

So pricey I used short ribs instead the last time I made the soup, because it worked out cheaper! I don’t know what is going on but they are. Enjoy it while you can, all the odds and ends that used to be cheap are not anymore, here.

Oxtail soup is amazing. I make it with a whole bottle of wine, and never eat it the first day. Unfortunately oxtail is very expensive here right now.

Do you eat meat? Big hunk o’ pork is one of the favorite meals of my kids. Salt the meat then broil or sear it in a pan. Put it in the slow cooker. Use broth, water, or wine to deglaze the pan and pour that over the meat.

Cut a couple of garlic heads in half horizontally, you don’t have to peel them. Toss them in.

Pour in the rest of the bottle of wine or box of broth, some orange juice is good too, lime if you didn’t have wine. Or some vinegar works if you don’t have lime. If you have cilantro put the stems in, if you don’t, don’t worry about it.

Close and cook on low all day. We usually have it with rice and black beans the first day, it’s good in tortillas with salsa, good on nachos, good in enchiladas, it’s just good

I guess we just disagree then. I literally don’t think it’s misbehaviour or anything to police like that. You want to put some sort of barrier up, but for what? So they will only do it at the girlfriend’s house? What does that accomplish? OP is not proposing to “provide turn down service, mints, and send them up to bed after dinner” just okaying a sleepover.

I do disagree because the drinking age where I am is 21, and drinking and driving is dangerous. So that would be asking if they can engage in illegal and potentially deadly activities. My kids will tell me if their friends drink at a party but they don’t, and they have all been comfortable with that too. But yes I like that they can tell me and ask for advice.

Sex, I very much prefer they have a safe space, I will leave and give them privacy, they are not doing anything wrong or illegal at all. I don’t actually think i’s a bad idea, it’s a natural part of a romantic relationship, and the kid is 17. And don’t understand your view that it’s safer for them to hide it from you? I hear the stories my kids tell about other kids and remember growing up in a household like that.

I’ve raised a lot of kids through teen years and YES absolutely. Him being able to casually tell you this is an affirmation of your success as a parent. He doesn’t feel like you are going to freak out. Talk with him about safe sex and enthusiastic consent, about how no birth control is 100% safe, make sure he’s not ignorant. Congratulations, parent, you have raised a reasonable person.

I’d invite her over often if it keeps his room clean!

Nah, more like prostitution. Y’all were providing something to them, like escorts. If you were of a legal age to do that it seems fine to me - dangerous sure (lucky you got the right crowd) but not trafficking, they didn’t trick you onto the boat or sell you.

I am not sure - this is a great question though - at what point do you let it keep harming you instead of letting it go? All the complicated social systems of revenge and avenging and reparation built around this.