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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 30th, 2023

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  • Im also killing myself on the 25th lol. During my partner’s exam I’m going to my favorite bench, drinking a bunch of benzos and vodka, and then shooting myself. Ive had it planned for a while. Life isn’t worth living anymore. I have too many mental health issues and trauma and have been fighting too long and can’t imagine fighting for another 50 or 60 years.

    I have thought about killing myself every day of my life since middle school and it is so freeing to have a solid plan and todo list of what I actually need to finish before I get to kill myself. I’ve tried before but I realize now I didn’t actually want it as much then. I finally feel calm. I’m finally ok with just being a statistic.



  • Work or government issued.

    I hate my gender, hate my body. Wish I could flip a switch and be anything else but I’m too afraid of the stigma to transition.

    But I recognize that society, the government, doctors, my family, see me as a boy. So I use he/him.

    In my mind its they/he. Some sort of demiboy or non binary, idk. I don’t want gender. I feel trapped.


  • I have an oracle free tier vps that I run reverse proxy on and have certs for subdomains for a domain I got on cloudflare. Cloudflare dns points to the vps, apache server proxy on port 80/443. On the vps I also have tailscale and another tailscale on a server at home advertising routes.

    So I have music.mydomain for subsonic and plex.mydomain and files.mydomain for nextcloud, etc.

    Its normal https web traffic so weird ports dont need to be accessed or remembered.




  • In JavaScript, a const variable is an immutable constant that you cannot reassign. Similar to how many conservatives think of gender, an intrinsic fact of a person that you can only read, but never change.

    The “let” keyword declares a variable in a local scope, the nearest surrounding curly braces. It can be changed in that scope, but does not exist anywhere else. I assume this is meant to concede that gender is a spectrum and your presentation can kind of wiggle, such as between “very manly” and “not as manly” but still a man. Like, a stereotypical lumberjack and a stereotypical twink are both men so there isn’t “one way to be a man” but a conservative might say " but they are still men, you can change how you present but you can’t change sex".

    The “var” keyword lifts the variable definition to the top of the function, or “hoists” it up. A variable declared with var can be accessed and modified anywhere after the block it was declared in. Gender is a spectrum and it can be reassigned anywhere, at anytime, to anything.