You might be able to do it if you’ll get closure by talking to your dad about it.
My dad is the type that is never wrong, never does anything bad, and therefore never apologizes. I brought this up a few times and he always say I exagerrate or those instances never happened. He will never own up to it.
“And you forgot you invited them hoping that the ratings will make your restaurant famous and you’ll become rich as fuck”
I feel you man. I am in the same boat as you.
I am 32. I love my dad, he did his best. He was a good dad.
But I will probably never be able to forgive him for the times he shouted and yelled at me when I wasn’t a good kid. He went into fits of rage over mundane things like homework and failing school. I remember everything he said in those fits of rage. Every instance of it. And I definitely remember feeling terrified.
And will remember it until the day I die.
Even at 70 years old.
Oh, for sure. It’s not something you, I, or just any group of people can change. It needs to change from upside down.
The issue is that changes like that don’t happen unless they are almost forced to by really big groups demanding it.
The thing is, it’s your BUSINESS’s clients, not yours. You said so yourself just now. You work for the business, which sells services to the clients. At no point the clients should pay you directly.
Using my profession as a software developer (and putting aside the salary of a developer because I know it’s not comparable in terms of salaries, but bear with me for the sake of the example) - sometimes clients pay money for new features that they want our service to have. I do all the work of researching it, understanding the requirements, I design the feature, write code for it, do automation tests for it, deploy it, and enable it - all for my client. It took me 3 months.
But hey, I did all that and the client never paid me. They paid the place I work for. How come? I would love to get 15% of the money the customer paid. But it’s just not happening. I do not get a tip.
But that’s fine. Because this is how it works in almost all industries. A client pays the business. The business hires workers and pays them. The workers keep the place running by doing their jobs which ends up in sales.
We (as a society) don’t pay tips to a doctor doing a physical exam on us. We don’t pay tips to a city worker approving our registrations. We don’t pay tips to a university professor teaching us a course. Those all examples of professions that include some kind of a frontal service to clients, yet they never expect it either, because they get properly paid by the workplace.
Now, it is not the same for waiters and bartenders. They expect tips. You are a jerk and rude if you don’t tip, and we don’t want you here. Don’t you dare give our business money if you aren’t going to give some of it to us as well.
So why is this so different from the other professions? I would wager the main issue stems from the terrible minimum wages, forcing waiters so look for alternatives. The alternatives ended up being very good for the employers, so they reinforced it and made it the standard. The more they can convince everyone to tip, the more they shift the “pay the worker” part of the business to the client. Suddenly the client is paying for both the service they bought AND the worker. The business is very happy that they get to keep more money to themselves and the responsibility is now the client’s.
It has now became so normalized in USA that people will fight to keep this new normal. Instead people should strive to make those businesses work just like any other business by giving them fair wages.
Of course - what’s the incentive? They got the tip money without having to do anything.
I mean, that’s on you for agreeing to pay $30 for an avocado on toast.
I’m against (forced) tipping culture but the waiter is not at fault for the prices a restaurant sets up. If I saw the price and still decided to order it, I will definitely not fault the waiter for it.
Waiters that give great services gets tipped because I want to encourage waiters to give great service.
Exactly; they know they get more in tips than they would with minimum wage. It is very low right now.
I can guarantee you that giving grief to the owners does nothing at all and changes nothing.
You cannot hope that people telling owners “this is bad I don’t like it at all” while still paying will change anything. It’s not how the world works.
And that’s the issue - the blame is shifted to the customers. Damned if you do (enforce this terrible system), damned if you don’t (make waiters have less money).
The change need to be systematic and from the root. But it will never happen with so many just accepting the system, and so many more defending it so strongly.
So yeah, I’ll always tip and then I give grief to the owner to pay their employees as you say
Why would they pay their employees, if you are doing exactly what they want you? You always tip, so they always don’t have to pay it out of their own pockets.
I’m sure the owners keep saying “yes I’m so sorry I’ll consider it” and once they’re out of your sight they grin and think of it not a second more.
Minimum wage, which is $7.25/hour, and not even close to the bare minimum to be able to survive, because it hasn’t been raised in nearly 15 years!
This is the real issue and the core of it that needs to be fixed. That is unacceptable. People should pressure for raising the minimum wage to livable terms instead of using roundabout systems that don’t fix the issue and just shifts it around.
You do, but if no one would tip owners would compensate the employees because they must make at least minimum wage.
The fact of the matter is that owners get to pay his employees less by having customers pay for it instead. You can call it tips, but what is really is - it’s the money the employer should have gave them.
And then we can stop the entire ritual of shame and guilt where you tip just to not be judged by everyone around you for being “cheap”, even though you paid for the costs of the food you ordered.
Plot twist: it was a 7 Boom game.
Honestly, I was clicking “Yes” since I was about 10 years old.
Even if it isn’t you could use the same approach in many other ways. Increase game difficulty by giving yourself bonus objectives. I gamify life quite a lot to do the boring stuff and try to be healthy. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to keep it up.
Yeah, faces do that. I asked mine to stop but it didn’t listen. So inconsiderate.
Mostly on phones: On/Off settings that have vague names and no description at all. I don’t know what is Multi Layered Scrolling is and I’m not going to research it. It stays off until it is explained right where the setting is.
Websites and apps: I HATE a confirmation menu that has a “OK” and “Cancel” type buttons where the one they want you to click is bigger, more emphasized, better colored and attractive than the other. This is common when you want to quit a game - the “Actually no I want to keep playing” button is usually highlighted and bigger while the quit button is ugly, in red, in the corner.