The law offices of Goldfarb, Goldfarb, Evans, McAllister, Michaels, Fong, Stanley, Dewey, Cheatum, Livingston, Caldwell, Cochrane, Loblaw, Goldfarb, Walters-Metzengerstein, Downey jr., Bridges, Mandelbrot, The Boot About to Lodge Itself So Far Up Your Ass You’ll Need a Dentist to Get It Out & Howe c/o the Office of the Attorneys General of the Commonwealths of Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania & Virginia d/b/a Our Entire Legal Staff is Going to Cook and Eat You Figuratively and Then Literally, You’re Fucking Dead Kiddo, LLC., Plaintiffs,

•                   - against -
  

The Starving Orphans Defense Fund, Defendant.

Pro tip: If you have to sue someone named “Fair Democracy”, make sure your company’s name is like, a billion paragraphs long so by the time people make it to “- against -” they’re too exhausted to keep reading

In the business we call that the ol’ Patriot Act Maneuver

It does seem pretty safe to assume that the ballot was signed sometime between the time it was printed and the date it was postmarked which, given the fast-paced and tumultuous nature of American politics, surely cannot be that wide of a window. And if the purpose is to somehow catch people submitting ballots after the cutoff date, surely one would expect a wouldbe election fraudster to lose no sleep in also falsifying an earlier date, making one wonder why this information is all that pertinent to begin with.

Now, a more cynical person might assume that this was just another one of those little traps specifically engineered to attract common mistakes (knowing full well that some of us are still putting the year down as “2015” because goddammit, what the hell time is it?) which can then be selectively enforced depending on whether or not you want to invalidate a large swath of votes. But I mean, surely our very trustworthy elected officials would never do such a thing…

I hear he eats televisions for breakfast. Drives around in an old pickup truck at 70 miles an hour knocking radio antennas off the side of the road with a baseball bat. You know, probably.

Also, the usual litany of opposes net neutrality, loves the bold new direction Twitter has been taking, hates any form of disinformation oversight and also apparently hates fiberoptic cables(?!) and thinks it would be great if social media stopped censoring his people and started censoring those other people already. Those ones were real.

Yeah, I mean, not really, if I’m honest.

Both are still showing up full price for me, if that helps.

…Think it’s too late to get a refund?

Weirdly, season 4 of both Fringe and Eureka have a portion of the main cast shunted into an altered timeline and having to reconcile their original memories with their “new” histories, to varying degrees of success.

Travelers kinda inverts the premise in its second season, where a bunch of time travellers sent back to fix the past start seeing their superior foreknowledge slowly rendered useless by the fact that their mission is actually succeeding in changing the future.

…Let them fight, I guess?

Man, I don’t give a shit about the imminent sociopolitical and economic hellscape. I got numb to that six months into his first term. But I am very likely going to be suffering through the slow-motion environmental catastrophe this inarticulate slug is about to cause for the rest of my life. If the Department of Heteronormativity Enforcement comes a-knocking 'cause they found out I watched Thor: Ragnarok and Brendan Fraser’s The Mummy in the same weekend, at least I know where my claw hammer is, but I don’t have high hopes for restarting the gulf stream by throwing a brick through it.

(alec baldwin’s character did actually shoot a guy at the end of season 5 episode 21 but that was a full season and a half later)

“Man, what a long week, huh?”

“Lemon, it’s Tuesday.”

Despite its name, so-called kidney disease is rarely caused by an overabundance of kidneys

So not only has he quite literally decimated their readerbase but he’s also made every other newspaper run the story that they were going to endorse Harris anyway, instead of likely just limiting that information to the handful of Washington Post subscribers that cared enough to check. Great quash, Jeff, you really shut that one down.

And if, heaven forbid, it’s not either of those, it is now apparently acceptable to refer to it as a “clap back.” In the newspaper of all places.

“Alright, that’s it! It’s super-duper double-dog war times infinity, no backsies!”

I’ve found the venn diagram of those who most frequently try to get me to watch videos on their phone, and the people who watch said videos in a third-party browser on a device that supports extensions, is just two distant circles. Your mileage may vary.

For me it’s more that youtube videos are a browser with an ad blocker activity.

Might’ve even scuffed up the rocks, jerk.