I’m late to reply but putting deodorant on before bed is actually recommended - it takes around 6-8 hours for it to fully sink in and work! I do the same thing. What I was specifically mentioning in my op was bug spray. I used bug repellent(Off is a brand) before bed in high school because of flea infestations my mom refused to fix. I don’t do this (and don’t have to unless I’m camping) anymore thankfully.
You know, I have and they did dX me with eczema. I already knew I had that though; I started getting stress related pomphlox in graduate school. It’s weird what stress can do to you. I will probably go again for another check up to see if they have any further input; I’ve had a busy schedule and have been putting it off for some time. Everyone has been so sweet here though, it genuinely has made me feel better!
Aw thank you! Life is waaay better now, granted I’m an adult and I have much more control over how my environment goes. But I no longer live in fear! So I’d say I’ve come great lengths.
It is kind of random, I only remembered because I have a current ulcer right now that’s healing and it hurts to type sometimes! So it was like a “And by the way…” type of moment. I don’t know what causes it, it’s not insect related or me picking at them. It’s a recent development and when I try to ask my doctor I get a shrug and “your blood labs are amazing!”. I have a few other unexplained conditions I honestly think are related(raynaud’s, dysphagia, autonomic disorders), and when I try looking up other experiences people might have with holes in their fingers I basically get regular finger infections and scleroderma support groups. I have yet to see someone else with literal random holes in their fingertips that cyclically turn into ulcers/heal again lol.
I sniff things. I have a habit where if I am given something I sniff it first looking for a scent first. I do it more often with food than anything else, because I have childhood roach trauma and if anybody has had to deal with the german ones they have a specific smell. Clothing, body care products, boxes, tools, leaves, etc. I sniff it first before I do anything with it. I didn’t realize it was weird until my roommate asked me why I kept sniffing things he gave me to hold.
I also shake my towel before using it (IYKYK). I’m trying to break myself on this one.
In highschool nobody told me it’s not normal to put on Off like body spray before bed.
Anything I am given from my mom or someone I’m not familiar with I leave it out in the sun 100’s ft away from the house for multiple days before I bring it it. I have to inspect every bit of it, shake it, turn it over, etc. Apparently that is not normal, according to some of my coworkers.
I have holes in my fingertips that turn into ulcers and then get better, but it cycles. I’ve been to the doctor multiple times, they are stumped.
I tend to pick at food when I am at someone’s house, especially if I’m new or they recently had a pest problem they’ve let me know about. I’m shut down, I can only drink water or I have to wait it out and then get food outside the home. I feel like a bad house guest but I’m so scared of eating bugs or mouse droppings.
A lot of my abnormalities seem to stem from some sort of trauma response - I know these aren’t normal* now *but trying to break away from some of them is incredibly hard. I have just gotten to the point where I don’t ask anyone if I can shower before I actually shower in my home(it slips sometimes, I can’t help it). As an adult I realize I look like a paranoid ninny and I think my long time best friend just didn’t want to cause a breakdown or something when we were still in high school. I know she probably saw and knew, but I’m lucky I have her and her family worked with kids similar to my situation for a long time so they were the least judgmental people I knew during the dark ages. Also life is tons better, I just need to work on my weird habits like sniffing things. That’s gonna get me one of these days.
I think it has a unique influence that will continue to develop, but I don’t think LLM’s are the only influence to blame. There’s a lot that can influence this behavior, like the theory you’ve described. Off the top of my head, limerence is something that could be an influence. I know that it is common for people to experience limerence for things like video game characters, and sometimes they project expectations onto others to behave like said characters. Other things could be childhood trauma, glass child syndrome, isolation from peers in adolescence, asocial tendencies, the list is long I’d imagine.
For me, self journey started young and never ends. It’s something that’s just apart of the human experience, relationships come and go, then sometimes they come back, etc. I will say though, with what I’m seeing with the people I’m talking about, this is a novel experience to me. It’s something that’s hard to navigate, and as a result I’m finding that it’s actually isolating to experience. Like I mentioned before, I can have one-one chats, and when I see them in person, we do activities and have fun! But if any level of discomfort is detected and the expectation is brought on. By the time I realize what’s happening they’re offering literal formatted templates on how to respond in conversations. Luckily it’s not everyone in our little herd that has this behavior, but the people that do this the most I know for sure utilize ChatGPT heavily for these types of dicussions only because they recommended me to start doing the same not too long ago. Nonetheless, I did like this discussion, it offers a lot of prospect in looking at how different factors influence our behavior with each other.
I can see how people would seek refuge talking to an AI given that a lot of online forums have really inflammatory users; it is one of the biggest downfalls of online interactions. I have had similar thoughts myself - without knowing me strangers could see something I write as hostile or cold, but it’s really more often friends that turn blind to what I’m saying and project a tone that is likely not there to begin with. They used to not do that, but in the past year or so it’s gotten to the point where I frankly just don’t participate in our group chats and really only talk if it’s one-one text or in person. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, even if I were to show genuine interest in the conversation it is taken the wrong way. That being said, I think we’re coming from opposite ends of a shared experience but are seeing the same thing, we’re just viewing it differently because of what we have experienced individually. This gives me more to think about!
I feel a lot of similarities in your last point, especially with having friends who have wildly different interests. Most of mine don’t care to even reach out to me beyond a few things here and there; they don’t ask follow-up questions and they’re certainly not interested when I do speak. To share what I’m seeing, my friends are using these LLM’s to an extent where if I am not responding in the same manner or structure it’s either ignored or I’m told I’m not providing the appropriate response they wanted. This where the tone comes in where I’m at, because ChatGPT will still have a regarded tone of sorts to the user; that is it’s calm, non-judgmental, and friendly. With that, the people in my friend group that do heavily use it have appeared to become more sensitive to even how others like me in the group talk, to the point where they take it upon themselves to correct my speech because the cadence, tone and/or structure is not fitting a blind expectation I wouldn’t know about. I find it concerning, because regardless of the people who are intentionally mean, and for interpersonal relationships, it’s creating an expectation that can’t be achieved with being human. We have emotions and conversation patterns that vary and we’re not always predictable in what we say, which can suck when you want someone to be interested in you and have meaningful conversations but it doesn’t tend to pan out. And I feel that. A lot unfortunately. AKA I just wish my friends cared sometimes :(
I agree with what you say, and I for one have had my fair share of shit asses on forums and discussion boards. But this response also fuels my suspicion that my friend group has started using it in place of human interactions to form thoughts, opinions, and responses during our conversations. Almost like an emotional crutch to talk in conversation, but not exactly? It’s hard to pin point.
I’ve recently been tone policed a lot more over things that in normal real life interactions would be light hearted or easy to ignore and move on - I’m not shouting obscenities or calling anyone names, it’s just harmless misunderstandings that come from tone deafness of text. I’m talking like putting a cute emoji and saying words like silly willy is becoming offensive to people I know personally. It wasn’t until I asked a rhetorical question to invoke a thoughtful conversation where I had to think about what was even happening - someone responded with an answer literally from ChatGPT and they provided a technical definition to something that was apart of my question. Your answer has finally started linking things for me; for better or for worse people are using it because you don’t receive offensive or flamed answers. My new suspicion is that some people are now taking those answers, and applying the expectation to people they know in real life, and when someone doesn’t respond in the same predictable manner of AI they become upset and further isolated from real life interactions or text conversations with real people.
Yeah, I use the molly fork because there’s features I like about it. I’d be sad if I couldn’t use it anymore. :(