This will be my first Christmas without her. I’ve already had our first anniversary (23rd) and her first birthday (44th), and now Christmas, New Year (which we always spent together) and my birthday.
The problem with this diagram – with this theory – is that it assumes the outer circle can grow. That it is not moored, permanently, to the inner circle.
I am saddened by your loss.
I am of similar ages and anniversary years, and your post resonates strongly with me.
I pray you find whatever you need to deal with this. I am so sorry.