• GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    The fact that he lied about owning property is gross, but if he had told her, why wouldn’t she contribute to the monthly bills? She is occupying space.

    Again not telling her is shady but if she could make an informed decision, paying rent to live in a house isn’t crazy, even if one person is accruing long term value from the spend.

    If it were me I’d obv tell her day 1, then offer a generous rent rate. The house is being worn down by 2, but you are gaining long term value (paying principle on the mortgage). She can’t expect to live rent free, but you can’t expect her to share the mortgage burden equally.

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I mean, if they’re not married and he charged her rent, how’s that much different than having a roommate? Why would she be entitled to ownership of the property just because she paid for a place to live, barring marriage or common law? There’s something to be said about being up front about your financial situation sure, but how she could expect equity out of the arrangement is a little asinine, unless she helped pay for repairs and upkeep (aside from basic cleaning/chores).

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        It’s obviously all a made up scenario, but imo time is a significant factor here. If she lives there for three years then it’s likely that she’s helped with repairs etc, so imo should be entitled to equity in some respect.

        Seems a bit shit to treat a partner like a roommate.

    • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

      If that’s all up front and she agrees then whatever but the scenario in the meme is pretty scummy

      Replies filled with people that will hopefully never live with their girlfriends because they seem very satisfied with the idea of lording over a romantic partner.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Yeah but charging a partner rent is kinda shitty. It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

          • Crazypartypony@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Why would I have someone live for free in my house who doesn’t contribute to the expense of upkeep? Ie, a freeloader. That’s what rent is. Sorry, a partner doesn’t expect their SO to pay their way for them just because they pay a mortgage payment instead of a rent payment. Add to that, now since it is a mortgage payment, any repairs and other incidentals are paid for by the owner as well. Does this person get to just break things and expect the partner to pay for it? That’s another thing rent covers. Why have a partner that is more expensive than being alone? Why have a partner at all?

          • DMmeYourNudes@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

            if 2 people live in a place, 2 people should pay the rent. that is equality. you’re advocating for the woman to not pay the rent because she’s a woman in the meme.

          • BruceTwarzen@kbin.social
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            1 year ago

            He paid 700k for an apartment, so naturally she can live in for free, because he doesn’t pay rent. Very smart

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Not to say that the deception is shitty, but she’d be in the same situation as if she rented a place. It’s a little out there to expect equity when all you did was cohabitate for a period, it’s the exact same thing as renting a room or something.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          The difference is a rental agreement and generally people in relationships aren’t expected to be in a landlord tenant situation. If this was just your friend then sure

          • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Well hang on, here’s a scenario for you: Say I own a 2 bedroom condo, and have a roommate that I charge rent. One day, I meet a girl and we start dating. At some point, said roommate moves out, and it just happens that my gf and I are at the point where she moves in, and said 2nd room gets turned into a office or guest room, because obviously we’re going to share the master. She pays me rent for living with me (might even be a lower amount for whatever reason). After two years, we decide to break it off since it isn’t working between us and she moves out. Do you think I should be expected to pay her out a slice of equity? How is that any different than a roommate renting a room from a financial standpoint?

            And in response to your other reply, what if she didn’t contribute to repairs? I think my point here is where do we draw the line? I can understand if a partner makes a significant investment contribution to the property, but I don’t know if I necessarily agree even with a certain length of time outside of marriage without a prenup, considering if y’all were renting somewhere you would have no claim to the property whatsoever. Just because someone is in a relationship with someone, in my mind, does not entitle them to another person’s assets just because they were together.

            • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              This is a relationship not a roommate nor a tenant. It’s slightly concerning how many people think these are the same thing

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

        The person renting (man or woman, if the situation was reversed on gender) has no responsibility for maintenance or liability to the house. If the renter is paying rent, they should also have no responsibility to pay for any house maintenance. Roof needs replacing? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Fridge goes out? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Mail carrier slips on ice and sues? Homeowner need to defend themselves, renter pays nothing. If the renter wants to break up and move to Alaska, renter can do exactly that with 30 days or less notice. Homeowner would need to go through all the trouble of evicting and selling the property to do the same.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          She’s not renting though as there’s no rental agreement. She’s just throwing money into the equity. This is a relationship, not a landlord tenant arrangement.

          • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement. No law enforcement will hold her liable for being a homeowner. No law will compel her to pay for a new roof for his house, should it need it. In fact, if she’s been there more than 30 days she’ll likely have many legal protections a renter has, such as protection from being thrown out without formal eviction.

            • irmoz@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement.

              That’s sorta the issue. You shouldn’t treat your SO as a tenant.

              • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I would hope you treat your SO as an equal partner, but that also means healthy boundaries equal to where the relationship is at the time. If one doesn’t pay rent, but pays toward the mortgage, and you break up instead of getting married, do you expect the home owner partner to cut the other partner a check to cash them out of their “equity”? How is that fair to the homeowner?

                  • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    I’m arguing non-homeowner had zero risk and should have zero equity.

                    The non-homeowner put zero money down for the purchase, they put none of their credit at risk, they took on no liability for the property, and so far there’s no mention of their obligation to pay for upkeep and repairs. Doing those things are the requirements of home ownership while the benefit is the equity. The non-homeowner simply hasn’t done the things to be a home owner. If the did, then they’d be a home owner.

      • BoofStroke@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        My gf pays half the mortgage. She lives here. She uses everything. She helps with bills. This is a lot less expensive than if she were paying rent elsewhere.

        She also didn’t contribute to: new fridge, new kitchen floor (damage from old fridge), new bathroom ceiling (mold damage), new driveway, new garage, tree removal and trimming, new door (that broke when she failed to latch it in high wind), and all other house stuff.

        asking half the mortgage when the burden of all the rest is on you is not asking a lot.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Sounds more like a landlord tenant relationship then. Maybe if it’s a girl you met six months ago then sure, but if your girlfriend helps with your mortgage for a few years and ends up with zero equity then you scumbagged her.