rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went “you havent made a list in a while!” are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

    • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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      1 month ago

      It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.

      “NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”

      YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME

      • Final Remix@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That’s a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.

    • Mac@mander.xyz
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      1 month ago

      The only ground i will give in this argument is when my headphones tell me the battery is low.

      • fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        I don’t like those either. I like the tones the airpods use. A single beep has no intrinsic meaning. But the tone it uses for low battery is as intuitive as it can get. Also if you don’t speak English the voice is just as useless as the tone. Especially if it’s something like this.

        That said my friend has a headset that announces “mic on” and “mic off” and we get far too much enjoyment out of mocking it saying my cock.

        • Mac@mander.xyz
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          1 month ago

          I have never heard the Airpod tone but i would prefer more than a single beep. I worry i would miss it. Maybe a long tone or a series of fast beeps would work well.

        • Mac@mander.xyz
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          1 month ago

          That’s definitely an option but i think i would miss it. A series of five or so fast beeps, perhaps.

    • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!

      • cron@feddit.org
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        1 month ago

        Many apps have “notification channels” (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.

          • elvith@feddit.org
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            1 month ago

            Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.

            There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.

            • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adversarytiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.

              App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.

            • fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 month ago

              The type of app to send you ads through your notifications are the type that don’t implement this, bundle them with “important” things, or just straight up lie.

            • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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              1 month ago

              Probably depends on the developer. Friendly independent neighborhood developer? Well behaved. Corporate app developer? Get fucked pleb.

        • DrDystopia@lemy.lol
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          1 month ago

          Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add

          Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice

          Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times

          That’s the good stuff.

      • PolarisFx@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 month ago

        Starbucks does it for me. The same notification channel is for orders and “announcements” which is essentially ads

        • aphonefriend@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 month ago

          Ya, easy. Stop going to Starbucks. They union bust by closing stores to shit on their employees. Terrible company. If you are a patron of Starbucks, you earned that shitty app and all that comes with it.

    • Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.

      It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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    1 month ago

    One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.

      • T0RB1T@lemmy.ca
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        1 month ago

        Or ad campaigns! Don’t forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!

        • Fonzie!@ttrpg.network
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          17 days ago

          It seems that Warp terminal is all the rage now, at least among my macOS using colleagues. I don’t know if it’s open source but iTerm on my mac does everything Warp does minus the AI, so what’s the hype?

  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it’s something that I don’t need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.

    • Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO’s home.

      • Aceticon@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        The most punitive thing you can do is give it a 1 star review.

        As it so happens it’s also the nicest thing you can do for everybody else since it makes it less likely people will download that app.

    • pseudo@jlai.lu
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      1 month ago

      No application should have this privilege by default. I only gives it to apps that can’t work without it.

  • makyo@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    It’s the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it

  • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.

    I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.

    • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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      1 month ago

      I had no idea people didn’t do this! First notification I get from an app that isn’t some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.

      People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?

      • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Well before the current Android version, you had to manually go into the settings of the app or your phone to disable them. Now you get this on first boot of the app:

        This makes it a lot easier to reject them immediately

      • DrDystopia@lemy.lol
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        1 month ago

        WW3 have that unblockable Presidential Alert emergency notification. There’s no escape. 😔

        Unless one disabled the correct system APK through ADB of course.

      • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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        1 month ago

        My phone hasn’t made a sound in years. It’s hard on silent and all notifications* go to my watch so it can tap my wrist quietly and politely. _ *I say “all”, but it’s calls, messages, and reminders. General purpose apps aren’t allowed to talk to me.

    • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that’s over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.

      • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Some apps still need to be able to do that to perform their function, but generally speaking yeah, you could

        • DrDystopia@lemy.lol
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          1 month ago

          What sort of apps would need real-time running if not to send notifications? Like logging software?

          • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Playing music, viewing weather forecast at a glance, fitness tracking, that kind of stuff

          • ralakus@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Calendar programs that send notifications, chat applications where you want instant notifications, email clients, package delivery ones where you’d be notified about deliveries, mental wellbeing apps that remind you to do things or to complete a journal entry or log, etc.

            • DrDystopia@lemy.lol
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              1 month ago

              But all of them are examples of apps needing to run in the background specifically to send notifications…

              What apps need to run in the background for other reasons than to send notifications?

  • Monstrosity@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, “HEY, THE PLACE YOU’RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE.”

    It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.

    • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I’m among those annoyed

      • Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        It’s like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of “higher than average call volume” all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain’t higher than average.

        • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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          1 month ago

          The average human being has one breast and one testicle. If you’re closed at night, then all daytime activity is higher than average.

    • CoolMatt@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with “traffic is heavier than usual”. Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.

    • helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Driving somewhere unknown, I need gas…“hey phone, take me to the nearest gas station” “okay, here’s a tiny list of gas stations to choose from, please click the one you want”

      Hands free navigation at its finest.

      • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        And then it asks you if the gas station you want is one 8 hours away, instead of the one 3 minutes from your current location. This has happened to me many times.

      • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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        1 month ago

        Maybe you wouldn’t have that problem if you didn’t burn gasoline. Seems like a sensible solution to the safety concern too.

  • Flamekebab@piefed.social
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    1 month ago

    I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they’re gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we’re not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    App developers should learn that the “Maybe later” button makes me delete their app.

    Yes or no.

  • SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    It increases engagement and that’s what the developer wants, especially if there are ads or purchases in the app. So you might hate it but it works.

  • secret300@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 month ago

    I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll just uninstall it if it annoys me.

      • beastlykings@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        On top of that I’ll sometimes put them entirely to sleep when I’m not using them. You get zero background privileges. I don’t need you running in the background updating crap, when I only need to use you a few times a year.

    • BluesF@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Setting my phone to silent semi-permanently was a great decision. The sound of sensation of buzzing has become something I dread. Do not “ping” at me, machine. I will check for messages when I am bored, and no sooner!