Did they make a choice though? As in a fully informed, conscious choice unaffected by internal and external pressures?
That’s the key to empathizing with addiction.
Most people don’t set out to be addicts. They don’t set out to OD as the goal of using. It’s fair to say that most addicts started out either partying, or self medicating.
The party addicts tend to not realize how damn fast and hard addiction can set in. They know it happens, but it isn’t real, it’s impersonal and distant, because they also know that people really can just use a few times and not do it again. But each time gets harder, and they start needing it to feel good at all. It isn’t done with intent, and they may not even be aware of what they’re actually taking. People are stupid. They’ll trust someone, and when they get handed a pill or a drink and the person they trust doesn’t explain, but they trust them.
And even when it’s someone arrogant that thinks they’re the exception, that’s still a very human thing.
For the ones chasing an escape from ugly reality, a way to feel good, no matter how temporary, sometimes the risk is irrelevant because to them, what they’re trying to escape is worse than any of the stories they’ve heard. Self medicating mental health issues, or physical health issues, or to numb the pain of a life situation they can’t escape otherwise, that’s as human as it gets.
Empathy. It’s also a human thing. We aren’t required to feel it for everyone everyone all the time. If you don’t feel it, you can’t make it magically happen. But we all want it to some degree or another. We all need some degree of human kindness to stay sane in a society that keeps staying ugly over millennia.
So, when we see someone that’s in a bad place, it’s part of that, that we at least try to find empathy for them, if only on a transactional level where we would wish someone make that effort for us.
It is, however, not equally easy for everyone. The human mind and brain is a diverse thing. Some people are born with brains that simply can’t empathize. Others can lose the ability. And there’s also people that have trouble doing it without some kind of “trigger” that gives them a connection to the other person in a way they can understand. Some of us over empathize.
But, at the core of it, the reason we are expected to try is that none of us are immune to the ugly parts of life. Every single one of us is one post surgical dose away from feeling withdrawals. Every single one of us is capable of feeling pain so deep we’ll do anything up escape it.
If you can’t empathize, that’s okay. Though going through the effort of rationalizing how others empathize would help you out a lot when dealing with others. If you make the effort to figure out how the same thing could happen to you, even if you don’t feel sorry for the person, you’ll have fulfilled your part of the social contract as regards the idea of “there but for the grace of the flying spaghetti monster go I”, or “judge not lest ye be judged”, or any other saying that boils down to recognizing that we’re all just flawed beings doing the best we can with what we’ve got.
Damn, I wish I could upvote this more than once.
No? This is a confusing question. Do you think they’re just committing suicide? Cuz most people that OD aren’t doing it intentionally. And even then… do you not feel bad for people that kill themselves?
Um no i don’t. Seen kids born with cancer who died. Seen kids addicted to crack meth and all other drugs. But an semi educated person who deliberately uses hardcore drugs like heroin phentaynol or whatever. I really don’t feel sorry for them. Because their first use knew what road it would lead them down. I just don’t get the point of celebs getting all this sympathy and we are suppose to follow. But stationed in Chicago I am now seeing heroin OD’s daily. What about them?
By that logic you also don’t feel bad for people who die in car accidents because from the first time they got behind a wheel they knew of the possibility. You should also not feel bad about people who are ran over, from the first time you walked outside your parents told you it was a possibility. Every time you go outside you’re risking being hit by a car, so don’t expect me to cry when that happens, right?.. Right?..
No, life is full of dangers, and ODing is just one of them. Most people who OD are in a bad situation and started using drugs to cope, and then it took control of them. Almost none of them made a conscious decision to OD, and one could argue their road to using that amount of drugs was also not entirely their choice, after all lots of those cause chemical dependency. Think about this, someone is stressed at work, they’re offered a cigarette by a friend who smokes daily, they smoke it and feel the stress going away, are able to focus and get through that tough spot, so they do it again next time they’re stressed, and then they start to get more and more stressed, but now they’re hooked, and trying to quit will be extremely difficult… Would you really not feel bad if that person developed cancer because he was stressed once and a friend offered a cigarette? How is ODing any different?
Because their first use knew what road it would lead them down.
The vast majority of people aren’t starting with heroin or fent. They start with getting prescribed cough syrup with codeine in it, or a friend offers them something ‘fun’ at a party. People aren’t making a single decision like, “yeah today I’m gonna ruin my life.”
And what about them? You can feel bad about them and bad about a celebrity dying. They’re not mutually exclusive.
It’s harsh to phrase it this way, but frankly I don’t care all that much about the One Direction guy that died personally. I wasn’t a fan. It didn’t impact me emotionally, but I can still acknowledge that he was greatly loved and it sucks for his fans and- I assume- his family.
It’s often not so simple as a person making a choice and knowing the outcome. There are often many tragic factors that contribute to the situation that resulted in the overdose. One common situation is someone is injured and prescribed opioids by their doctor, perhaps having been influenced by drug companies like Purdue pharma. As they take it they become addicted, eventually the doctor cuts them off and they go to other doctors, then they may find it easier to buy from a dealer, then they may find it more affordable to buy fentanyl, and then maybe they take too much or get a bad batch and od.
They didn’t start taking drugs knowing it was going to be a bad path, they started because their doctor prescribed it and by the time they figured out they were addicted they were no longer in control and may not have had the resources to get out. It’s often not just a question of willpower but one of support and resources to help you up.
There are many other scenarios, but it’s rarely a simple result of a few conscious choices and almost always a result of people suffering in bad situations and it’s ok to feel compassion and empathy even if they weren’t completely innocent in it all.
Nice write up…no sarcasm. I asked the question because it seems the world has sympathy for the Liam one direction guy. Even though there was coke alcohol and benzos in his system and syringes found in his hotel room. I just don’t get it. Why don’t we get upset for a person who is not famous? Personally and hope this doesn’t get me banned but really do not give a shit about this guy or any others and I say that as a Nurse.
It’s worth continually highlighting that drug use led to death, deliberate or accidental because people have a tendency to overestimate how safe occasional use is or how glamorous the lifestyle is. Reporting the truth now and then is important, this isn’t even “anti drug” propaganda. It’s just what happened.
It’s not that Liam or any other celebrity is more important than anybody else. It’s that they are more widely known. You’re not going to see an outpouring of support on social media for a regular person from Chicago because there aren’t that many people that know them or are affected by their death. That doesn’t make them less worthy of empathy, just less well known.
Addiction is an illness. Some people don’t choose to be drug addicts, and it’s incredibly difficult to stop once you’re hooked.
Not everyone addicted to drugs chose to do them in the first place. Parents shoot up their kids, and abusive partners shoot up their abusee.
The second part of your statement is pretty weak, those are very rare situations.
Far more useful to point out that a lot of people do it out of despair, peer pressure, or even just for fun while already intoxicated. Someone who’s massively depressed, being pressured by “friends”, or trying opioids for the first time at a party while already drunk are not in their right mind in terms of making an informed decision.
However, the first part is spot on.
We don’t usually blame people who become addicted to things, because it often isn’t as intentional as the OP is making it out to be in their question.
It’s not as rare as you think it is. My SO worked in addiction counseling, and it wasn’t rate by any means.
In the US, doctors were prescribing opioids for pain medication for decades, ignoring the addictiveness and decreased effectiveness over time.
So someone who went in for surgery or had an injury could end up hooked on their pain meds… except the meds would become less and less effective over time, requiring larger and larger doses. Until the dose passed the “legal” threshold, at which point these people switched to illegal suppliers to survive. And eventually the doses got to be so large that their bodies couldn’t handle it, and they died.
And then there’s people who got hooked on methamphetamines because they were a cheap but effective way to stay up all night and study for an exam when they were a teenager— and eventually they couldn’t function without them.
And that’s just two common examples from two drug families, ignoring things like e-cigs (person gets hooked on something they didn’t even know they were consuming), regular cigarettes, or alcohol, all of which are legal but can also be addictive and deadly.
And… that ignores the obvious: it’s possible to feel sorrow for someone’s situation without affirming their life choices.
Here’s a better question: why don’t you try having literally even one ounce of empathy for others?
There’s a million layers of nuance to every situation.
Why should I feel sorry for you and answer your question?
No, not everyone knows. Sometimes people are hooked on something they did not know they were taking. One of my daughter’s friends in high school was given a joint laced with fentanyl, and it killed him. I had a friend who got addicted to meth in a similar fashion.
Its called empathy, it helps us care about the wellbeing of others. Its more of an illness than a choice, I’m addicted to Nicotine in the same way that someone else is addicted to cocaine. And tbh, you are allowed to feel bad for people even when it was their own choice that got them into their situation. Why do we have to remove our empathy when someone makes a conscious choice? Even a bad one? (I’m not talking about extremes like murder with this question)
Essentially, you’re saying “Why feel sorry for people who died in car accidents? Didn’t they make the choice knowing the outcome?”
Yes, yes, people don’t choose to get in a car accident, but people don’t choose to overdose either. People choose to drive from point A to point B, and everyday people die doing exactly that. Statistically, it might be safer to do drugs than get your driver’s license.
The only difference is how much you can relate with the people. If you can’t see yourself in them, it’s not nearly as tragic.
Not that this is a great argument or anything, but growing up I thought I wouldn’t possibly start using drugs (including nicotine) and alcohol so I tuned out for all the “drugs are bad” lectures.
When I was a young adult I got into drugs and had a lot of fun. A decade later I’m lame as hell and don’t party, don’t do drugs.
What I’m trying to say is that even despite good education it’s still easy to get into drugs. For many people they never give them up (because hello — they’re addictive). I’m lucky that I moved on and made something out of my life, but that’s not the story for everyone.
So you are saying a person can’t possibly get addicted to legal drugs then when those drugs are cut off they can’t possibly turn to illegal drugs?
You are saying that a person can’t get addicted to drugs for other reasons? Ex: mental health issues that aren’t being fixed?
There is an emerging field of research that reframes addiction as a reasonable reaction to traumatic conditions. This doesn’t explain all addiction, but it seems to explain a large amount of it. We are learning how complex a condition addiction can be and that makes it easier to feel compassion for these folks.
Overdosing can be a suicide attempt. Sometimes however, the product is stronger than expected or takes longer than expected to have an effect and that causes accidental overdose.
In both cases mentally healthy people feel sorry for the person, because they were either in a tough spot and saw suicide as the only solution or they tried to feel good and had an accident instead. Some mentally healthy people supress their sadness though, which is a coping mechanism to not be overwhelmed by sorrow. They still feel it a bit, but focus on distractions etc.
