• linuxduck@nerdly.dev
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    1 year ago

    If a partner moved in with me they absolutely would help pay my mortgage. But I wouldn’t lie that I didn’t own the place. Just set standards of what I expect

          • Coreidan@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            They aren’t wrong tho. If you stop paying your taxes they will take your house away. So in the end you may “own” it but you really don’t have full control, which raises the question on who really owns the land.

            In the end the government has the control. Do you really own it?

            • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              If you don’t pay your taxes and have any assets, will a court seize them if you refuse to pay? Sure. A private company can sue you if you don’t pay for services and a court may also seize assets if you lose and refuse to pay. Do you own the assets?

              Yes, obviously.

              Hey guys, I found the anarchocapitalist.

              • Coreidan@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                Which makes you a slave to the government by virtue of taxes.

                I’ll repeat it to the slow folks in the back. If the government can seize your property then you never owned it from the beginning.

                • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  As I say to all anarcho-capitalists: If you want to live on the land and not use any infrastructure whatsoever, then be my guest, you wouldn’t need to pay taxes if you don’t have any income 👍

                  Here’s a great series by AdamSomething for why arachocapitalism is stupid: https://youtu.be/HTN64g9lA2g

                  If you want to participate in society, taxes are the fees needed to keep it going. Funnily enough we live in a society with laws and concesequnces for breaking them.

                  If you live in the US, it’s understandable why taxes bother you because your infrastructure is crumbling, but that’s because your voting system sucks and you keep electing shitty governments. Taxes themselves aren’t to blame.

            • PixelProf@lemmy.ca
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              1 year ago

              That and expropriation/eminent domain, etc. Even if you pay your taxes, if the government needs it, they have processes to take it.

              I’m not saying it’s an inherently bad thing, but it’s another one of those important things to realize is already present if anyone wants to argue for/against certain government reforms.

    • Myrhial@discuss.online
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      1 year ago

      My partner said that when he’d move in with me, he’d pay his share. His logic is that he’s currently paying a landlord and he’d rather pay me. That way I get more financial room to loan money again (I own my apartment, but have a mortgage), and he’d pay less than current rent, allowing him to expand on a down-payment buffer. Ideally this way we could upgrade to a small house in time, suitability split, and I keep the apartment to rent out or I can sell it.

      There is power in combined finances, but you need to take into account what you’d do on your own. That said, I would prefer to be in a situation where I could just let him move in for free, as life is expensive enough already.

      But I also believe that it is essential to a good relationship that each carries their reasonable share. I grew up with my mom fully depending on my dad for finances as she was a stay at home mother. I loved she was always there for us, but when my parents grew apart, she really struggled and dealt with a lot of guilt because she couldn’t provide for us as before. This is why I’ve always made sure I could make my own way. My apartment isn’t the greatest but I’m thankful every day I can benefit from ownership.

    • Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz
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      1 year ago

      That’s what I’m doing with my SO. My house and my mortage but she pays about half of it though that includes also groceries, water and electricity

  • ophelia@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    What the hell is up with some of these “memes”? This isn’t funny

  • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    The fact that he lied about owning property is gross, but if he had told her, why wouldn’t she contribute to the monthly bills? She is occupying space.

    Again not telling her is shady but if she could make an informed decision, paying rent to live in a house isn’t crazy, even if one person is accruing long term value from the spend.

    If it were me I’d obv tell her day 1, then offer a generous rent rate. The house is being worn down by 2, but you are gaining long term value (paying principle on the mortgage). She can’t expect to live rent free, but you can’t expect her to share the mortgage burden equally.

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I mean, if they’re not married and he charged her rent, how’s that much different than having a roommate? Why would she be entitled to ownership of the property just because she paid for a place to live, barring marriage or common law? There’s something to be said about being up front about your financial situation sure, but how she could expect equity out of the arrangement is a little asinine, unless she helped pay for repairs and upkeep (aside from basic cleaning/chores).

      • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        It’s obviously all a made up scenario, but imo time is a significant factor here. If she lives there for three years then it’s likely that she’s helped with repairs etc, so imo should be entitled to equity in some respect.

        Seems a bit shit to treat a partner like a roommate.

    • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

      If that’s all up front and she agrees then whatever but the scenario in the meme is pretty scummy

      Replies filled with people that will hopefully never live with their girlfriends because they seem very satisfied with the idea of lording over a romantic partner.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Yeah but charging a partner rent is kinda shitty. It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

          • Crazypartypony@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Why would I have someone live for free in my house who doesn’t contribute to the expense of upkeep? Ie, a freeloader. That’s what rent is. Sorry, a partner doesn’t expect their SO to pay their way for them just because they pay a mortgage payment instead of a rent payment. Add to that, now since it is a mortgage payment, any repairs and other incidentals are paid for by the owner as well. Does this person get to just break things and expect the partner to pay for it? That’s another thing rent covers. Why have a partner that is more expensive than being alone? Why have a partner at all?

          • BruceTwarzen@kbin.social
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            1 year ago

            He paid 700k for an apartment, so naturally she can live in for free, because he doesn’t pay rent. Very smart

          • DMmeYourNudes@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It’s supposed to be an equitable partnership that benefits both parties. Otherwise why have a partner?

            if 2 people live in a place, 2 people should pay the rent. that is equality. you’re advocating for the woman to not pay the rent because she’s a woman in the meme.

            • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              We’re talking mortgage. If we’re talking rent then yeah she should absolutely pay. It just gets muddier when equity is involved and there should be some agreement up front.

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Not to say that the deception is shitty, but she’d be in the same situation as if she rented a place. It’s a little out there to expect equity when all you did was cohabitate for a period, it’s the exact same thing as renting a room or something.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          The difference is a rental agreement and generally people in relationships aren’t expected to be in a landlord tenant situation. If this was just your friend then sure

          • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Well hang on, here’s a scenario for you: Say I own a 2 bedroom condo, and have a roommate that I charge rent. One day, I meet a girl and we start dating. At some point, said roommate moves out, and it just happens that my gf and I are at the point where she moves in, and said 2nd room gets turned into a office or guest room, because obviously we’re going to share the master. She pays me rent for living with me (might even be a lower amount for whatever reason). After two years, we decide to break it off since it isn’t working between us and she moves out. Do you think I should be expected to pay her out a slice of equity? How is that any different than a roommate renting a room from a financial standpoint?

            And in response to your other reply, what if she didn’t contribute to repairs? I think my point here is where do we draw the line? I can understand if a partner makes a significant investment contribution to the property, but I don’t know if I necessarily agree even with a certain length of time outside of marriage without a prenup, considering if y’all were renting somewhere you would have no claim to the property whatsoever. Just because someone is in a relationship with someone, in my mind, does not entitle them to another person’s assets just because they were together.

            • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              This is a relationship not a roommate nor a tenant. It’s slightly concerning how many people think these are the same thing

      • BoofStroke@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        My gf pays half the mortgage. She lives here. She uses everything. She helps with bills. This is a lot less expensive than if she were paying rent elsewhere.

        She also didn’t contribute to: new fridge, new kitchen floor (damage from old fridge), new bathroom ceiling (mold damage), new driveway, new garage, tree removal and trimming, new door (that broke when she failed to latch it in high wind), and all other house stuff.

        asking half the mortgage when the burden of all the rest is on you is not asking a lot.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Sounds more like a landlord tenant relationship then. Maybe if it’s a girl you met six months ago then sure, but if your girlfriend helps with your mortgage for a few years and ends up with zero equity then you scumbagged her.

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.

        The person renting (man or woman, if the situation was reversed on gender) has no responsibility for maintenance or liability to the house. If the renter is paying rent, they should also have no responsibility to pay for any house maintenance. Roof needs replacing? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Fridge goes out? Homeowner pays, renter pays nothing. Mail carrier slips on ice and sues? Homeowner need to defend themselves, renter pays nothing. If the renter wants to break up and move to Alaska, renter can do exactly that with 30 days or less notice. Homeowner would need to go through all the trouble of evicting and selling the property to do the same.

        • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          She’s not renting though as there’s no rental agreement. She’s just throwing money into the equity. This is a relationship, not a landlord tenant arrangement.

          • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement. No law enforcement will hold her liable for being a homeowner. No law will compel her to pay for a new roof for his house, should it need it. In fact, if she’s been there more than 30 days she’ll likely have many legal protections a renter has, such as protection from being thrown out without formal eviction.

            • irmoz@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              It doesn’t matter if there isn’t a written lease. Its still very much a rental arrangement.

              That’s sorta the issue. You shouldn’t treat your SO as a tenant.

              • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I would hope you treat your SO as an equal partner, but that also means healthy boundaries equal to where the relationship is at the time. If one doesn’t pay rent, but pays toward the mortgage, and you break up instead of getting married, do you expect the home owner partner to cut the other partner a check to cash them out of their “equity”? How is that fair to the homeowner?

  • Coreidan@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    What’s the expectation here? That you get to live for free because you’re banging a guy who owns a house? Alrighty.

    • toomanyjoints69@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      My husband literally lives for free because 90% of our income comes from me. His money basically is just our food. So yeah, its unethical to charge your partner rent. Its really weird to view relationships as a business deal where you both give exactly 50 percent. That sounds like roommates who have sex.

      • Demdaru@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Your husband.

        That’s commitment and with it comes a lot of decision, one of them whether to keep money separate, pool together or just have one account altogether.

        But unless that commitment is made, expecting ither half to be responsible and pay for their shit - unless agreed otherwise beforehand - is to be expexted.

      • Coreidan@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Totally. What makes sense is to have a discussion about it and come to an agreement. Whatever arrangement that feels fair for both of you. You two have an arrangement that works for both of you and you’re both OK with it.

        On the other hand just because you two are together doesn’t mean he’s automatically entitled to you paying 90%. That just happens to be something you both landed on and you’re clearly OK with it. Not everyone will be and it’s unfair to expect them to be ok with it.

        I don’t think it’s unethical for your partner to chip in. Lying about it on the other hand is.